


Anastasis

by ShaeraHaek



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Daichi's Life is a Trainwreck, Daichi-centered, Everyone is Getting Together Basically, Friends to Lovers, He's a Great Friend but a Horrible Lover, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, OC Hirano Yuki, Original Character for Story Purposes, Past Sawamura Daichi/Michimiya Yui, Sawamura Daichi Struggles, Search For The Ships, Slow Burn, Suga Suffers, Suga is Engaged, Suga is NOT the Cause of His Break-up With Yui, Suga's Parents Don't Approve of it, Tanaka Ryuunosuke/Kanoka Amanai, angst with happy ending, at first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-20 16:53:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10666842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShaeraHaek/pseuds/ShaeraHaek
Summary: Daichi stares at him as if he just saw him for the first time ever. When Suga moves to tuck the left part of his hair behind his ear, Daichi's eyes fall on the silver band around his finger and something just clicks."I'm engaged!" Suga says, his flush growing more prominent when everyone bursts with even more excitement. Noya storms out of the room to order a bottle of sake.//Based onthis angsty bit//





	1. Part 1: Announcements

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thanks to [social_monstrosity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/social_monstrosity) for beta-reading and providing a huge support! Also to @toondoon1010, @TakeiShun and @Rinoa11 who were my first guinea pigs, forced to read the un-edited version of this.
> 
> Happy reading! ^^
> 
> //Music for the entire fic (not just this chapter): [Mogway: Les Revenants ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MP9evk0f7Qg&t=124s)//

 

Of all times, he has to be late now. It's the second post-five-years meeting of the Karasuno team and he has to be running late! Some kind of businessman he is.

Daichi looks at his watch and jogs down the busy street, swerving between people with quiet curses under his breath. The heat is unusually punishing for an early June afternoon, and he's stewing in his own juices because there was no way he could wiggle out of his suit in an over-filled subway. It's not even better now, with the jacket hanging over his arm. He throws his suitcase in his right hand and wiggles the watch out of his sleeve. He won't make it in time even if he could stop it.

Thankfully, he can already see the park in the distance. Somebody is waving at him from the entrance - a ginger mop of hair jumps up and down next to the person, urging him to move his ass with vigorous shouts and gestures. It's Hinata and Nishinoya.

Daichi waves back, puzzled. Looks like he managed to make it in time.

"Hey there, captain!" Hinata greets, not hesitating to grab Daichi's already outstretched hand in a greeting. He receives a pat on his shoulder and a sunny, welcoming smile.

"How did I make it in time?" Daichi asks, moving to shake Nishinoya's hand next.

"You didn't!" Nishinoya grins. "Well, technically you didn't. We had to change the time at the last minute.

"Suga called!" Hinata explains. It's like listening to twins. "He said he'll make it, so Tanaka went to pick him up from the airport. They should be here in a while."

"I was stressing it for nothing?" Daichi shakes his head, hands on his hips. He bows his head to catch some breath.

"Yeah, kind of!" Hinata laughs. "Come, we're monopolizing the benches over there." He says, pointing towards the spot in the shade on the left. Daichi looks up to see the rest of the team waving at him with colourful cups.

"You might want to loosen that tie, man." Ennoshita pipes in when they get close enough. He looks at him over the rim of his tar-black designer glasses, mocking him with the sleeveless shirt, short jeans and flip-flops.

"You look like you've stepped off a cruise ship to Hawaii." Daichi grumbles good-heartedly, already working his tie off his neck. "How's everybody?" He asks, ignoring Ennoshita's pointed slurping. Life is a luxury when one is a film director. Even if it's just a start of the career.

There are varied responses of "fine"s and "good"s that sound like a song to Daichi's ears. He sweeps the gathering with his eyes, counting heads. Just six so far?

Yamaguchi smiles at him cheerfully from his spot next to Tsukishima, putting down his cup. "How are we? The businessman look suits you more than the captain's jersey." He grins cheekily, making a small wave.

"A jersey would feel so much better now, though."

"You can say that again!" Hinata huffs, tugging at his shirt to let the heat of his body out. Kageyama nods thoughtfully next to him.

"Hello," he says with a shallow bow. The case of his scary resting face hasn't  gotten any better even after ten years. Daichi suspects it's because he plays on the same team as Oikawa.

"Hello, yourself. Saw your match the other day!" Daichi bows back, his grin widening when he sees Kageyama's heavy sigh. "Nice start of the season."

"Thanks. We're missing Bokuto, though. Managed to bust his ankle while skating or something." Kageyama grumbles, chewing his straw. Hinata makes a sulky face next to him.

"I wanted to see Bokuto so much. His spikes are even more deafening than Ushiwaka's. Hey, the last season he--" And Daichi stops listening. Some things just never change.

A hand on his shoulder startles him. "He needs an off switch sometimes." Asahi says, offering him a cup of sweet-looking liquid. Daichi accepts, grimacing when he tastes it.

"What is this?"

"Liquid cancer - or whatever kids drink these days. It has little balls in it, chew them before you swallow." Asahi warns.

"Thanks," Daichi throws him an unsure smile. He hasn't tasted anything like this for quite a while. His choice of beverages is usually less coloured, and usually much more bitter. "How's the new flat?"

Asahi's heavy sigh is almost an answer enough.

"What, you're sorry moving in with Noya already? It's been what? Three months?"

"Sometimes, he needs an off switch as well."

"I'd love to say 'I feel you man,' but I wouldn't  know. My flat is blissfully silent. Sometimes too much." Sometimes even unbearably so. Asahi makes an empathic grimace.

"Alright, party people, get your asses up, we're meeting the rest in the restaurant." Nishinoya calls, putting his phone in the back pocket of his pants.

"Who else is coming?" Hinata asks, jumping from his seat like a bouncy ball, dragging Kageyama behind him by his sleeve to move faster. Daichi is jealous of his energy.

"Tanaka and  Suga as soon as the traffic jam clears, and Shimizu is gonna be late because of a meeting."

"That's all? What about Yachi, Kinoshita and Narita?" Daichi wonders.

"Yachi is still lost in New York city, and Kinoshita and Narita are stuck playing loyal husbands. They've got kids to look after." Noya informs, taking the place of the leader of the group.

"They could bring the kids..." Daichi muses.

"Tanaka vowed to drown in alcohol tonight when he last called, so I don't think it's the best idea." Nishinoya argues.

"What's the occasion?" Asahi butts in. Noya just shrugs.

* * *

They are in the middle of ordering their drinks when a familiar, raspy voice _'hey, hey, hey's_ from the door.

Noya is on his feet in an instant, high-fiving Tanaka the second he sets foot to the room. The waitress looks a little bit spooked but Tanaka bows his head in apology, dancing around her with a grin that makes her cheeks colour and stifle a laugh. To think he once struggled to get a girl... There's even one with him right-- wait a second.

"Isn't that Suga?" Tsukishima squints, putting down his drink.

Yamaguchi's mouth falls wide open, Ennoshita puts his glasses back on, and to say Daichi is stunned, would be a big understatement.

"Oh, wow! " Hinata gasps, jumping to his feet to throw himself around Sugawara's neck.

"Hello!" Suga greets, with a wave of his hand, lighting the room with his brilliant, cheeky smile.

"You look amazing!" Hinata marvels, his hands hovering, unsure whether he can touch Suga's almost shoulder-long hair.

They all greet back, offering compliments and warm welcomes. Sugawara bows his head a couple of times, flushed from all the attention, and reaches to shake Asahi's outstretched hand, but the man immediately stands up and envelops him in a bear hug.

"The full beard looks great on you!" Suga laughs, taking Asahi's hairy cheeks between his palms in such an intimate gesture, it catches Daichi off guard. He presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth, jerkily drawing back, hand flying to his mouth.

"Oh my," Suga gasps, "I'm sorry, it's an European thing. Difficult to get rid of once you're infected." But Asahi shakes his head, murmuring he doesn't mind. And really, who _would_ mind? Suga goes for another, much shorter, hug and then he turns towards Daichi whose heart skips a beat. The moment he feels Suga's warm embrace, though, he simply melts into it and goes as far as to lift the man off the ground, making Suga squeal and tighten the arms around him. It feels familiar and completely natural - there's no awkward moments, no trembling hands, and holding breaths - just a pure joy from seeing an old friend return. When Daichi puts him back on the ground, Suga does the same he did to Asahi - sans the praise of the beard, because Daichi's jaw is shaven clean - and his traitorous heart does make a leap when Suga's long fingers brush over his cheeks, and his soft lips press a kiss to both corners of his mouth.

 Their gazes linger - or maybe Daichi imagines it. It leaves him dizzy, and he hears himself ask: "how are you doing?" before Hinata jumps between them, demanding a smooch of his own.

Daichi sits back down catching Ennoshita's eyebrow jumping over the rim of his glasses. He pays him no mind though. There's nothing he could feel guilty for. There's also no way he _knows._

"What's up with the glasses?" Suga jerks his head towards the said man.

"You're blinding," he says, nodding right back at him. "Gotta protect my poor peepers. Come here, dear vice! Shower me with your European affection." He calls, jumping over Nishinoya for a one-sided hug and a kiss.

"Smooth, man!" Tanaka acknowledges with a serious nod, toasting him with an empty hand.

They finish ordering their drinks - mostly beers, Kageyama doesn't drink alcohol, so it's just tea for him - and after the waitress leaves, they start discussing the menu, arguing over who's going to order what in order to taste the most of what the place has to offer.

Daichi couldn't care less. His eyes keep sliding towards Suga,who literally glows - but it's not the same as Hinata, whose thousand-watt-smile and sunny attitude make the whole room warmer. No, Suga's glow is of a different kind. It's like an aura of peaceful, content tranquillity that puts people at ease.

Daichi allows himself to undo the second button of his shirt, bowing his head together with him over the menu when Suga leans towards him with a conspiratory twinkle in his eye. Of course he tries to talk him into ordering the extra spicy soup that's supposed to be the local speciality. Spicy, tongue-numbing dishes are Suga's favourite.

"No way," Daichi shakes his head, knowing exactly how dead one's taste buds must be to want to try a soup that's literally just a bowl of flaming red broth with chilli peppers floating in it like little Hellish islands. Not even Suga's pouty stare can make him change his mind.

"Not fair. I want to taste that _and_ the new spicy bento!" Suga grumbles, leaning towards Asahi instead when he's absolutely sure Daichi would not indulge him. Nishinoya starts the topic of Kinoshita and Narita - in other words, The Dads, since that seems to be their moniker now - laughing at how whipped they are, emphasizing his point with an appropriate gesture, and then continues to scheme a raid on their houses with the intention to steal their kids and never return them, because _they are the sweetest kids ever!_ Daichi learns that Narita's missus is expecting again, and while Daichi feels nothing but happy at the news, it also makes him envision his mother tapping her finger on the watch on her wrist with a very displeased look on her face.

The vision is interrupted by the waitress finally making an entrance, distributing their ordered drinks between nervous stutters of apologies of being so late. Suga waves her off with a smile, saying it's all alright - and really, it is. They haven't  even noticed the drinks are not there yet. With a choral cheer and crinkling of their glasses, followed by satisfied sighs, they continue the conversation, taking turns in referring the latest news and accomplishments. It's the "first years" - Daichi will always call them that - who start the round. They are the youngest and still most excited - minus Tsukishima, of course - he was never one to be excited about anything.

Hinata boasts about the team he's coaching, saying they won the prelims to the nationals, and ended up third in the end. He compares them with the original team, saying the only thing they're missing is a grumpy setter. Kageyama elbows him at the mention and takes over, he's a lot more reserved about his accomplishments - mostly because everyone keeps a tab on him, and mostly because he still thinks it's not a big deal to play in the Japanese National team. Daichi has a grin on his mouth the whole time Kageyama tries to talk, because every time Kageyama mentions a match, Hinata is there to flash out the most important moments. The blush on Kageyama's cheeks every time Hinata throws his head back and points out a particular, game-changing toss, makes Daichi want to tease the man as well.

Yamaguchi talks about what crazy ideas the kids in the kindergarten come up with, starting from the most innocent and cutest thing and ending it with things that have them all facepalming and shaking their heads.

"Kids and their antics these days."  Yamaguchi laments with a heavy sigh. "I mean they are cute and all that, but sometimes I just want to throw them all out the window. And don't even get me started on the parents! They are sometimes even worse than the kids!"

"People are the worst." Tsukishima agrees with a sour face, staring into his cup.

"Says the guy whose job description is being the embodiment of a wasp nest." Hinata laughs.

"I'm a sports journalist, not a paparazzi of local drama queens."

"Wait, wait, you don't interview Oikawa then?" Ennoshita joins in, leaning his elbows on the table, a shit eating grin plastered on his face.

Tsukishima rolls his eyes with an exasperated groan while Kageyama quietly shakes his head in defeat. Daichi noticed he does that whenever Oikawa is mentioned. He also noticed the wistful sigh.

"To be honest though," Tsukishima continues after taking a sip of his beer, "He is pretty professional during actual matches."

"Except he doesn't only do that, does he? Do you get to interview him when he's promoting men's underwear, too? He still technically falls into the 'sportsman' category there, doesn't he?" Asahi muses.

Tsukishima purses his lips and says, "I'd rather not go there."

"He's just too shy to admit he loves the gossip." Ennoshita grins, "Me on the other hand," he continues,  drawing all the attention to himself. His lips remain sealed about his future projects, though, but the stories about outrageous demands of actors he's worked with are entertaining, and make Noya and Tanaka forget their demands about giving them some minor, forgettable role.

Asahi sighs when Noya gets the word and starts praising their new flat, but Daichi catches the fond glint in his eye. Nobody really knows what sort of relationship they have going on - moving in with another man isn't anything novel these days, but Daichi's money is on dating. Going by Asahi's sour face when Noya starts praising their huge shower, it looks like he might be right.

There's a clicking noise that catches Daichi's attention, and while Asahi describes the list of crazy neighbours they've encountered in their new place, Daichi low-key searches for the source of it until his eyes fall on Suga's hand. He's tapping it to the rhythm of the muted pop song that plays in the bar area, the simple silver band around his ring-finger crinkling against the side of the glass. The first thing that comes to his mind is how pretty the simple design is and what a nice taste Suga has. It's followed by an internal monologue of whether he should compliment it out loud or if it would be weird. He stares at the ring and then studies Suga's long, slender fingers, eyes slowly drifting upwards to slightly curled tips of his long hair. It's difficult to say for sure in Suga's case, but Daichi thinks he might have spotted a few glistening silver strands. The discovery makes him feel much better about his own gray hair. The long hair really suits him, even though he looks so different.

Why didn't he let his hair grow longer before?  Was it because of volleyball? Was he worried it might get in the way? He could have put it in a bun like Asahi. Or a pony-tail. How would a pony-tail look on him?

"Are you okay?" Suga's voice brings him down to Earth.

"Huh?" Daichi gapes dumbly, meeting his warm, brown eyes.

"You were staring," Suga trails off, a little crease appearing on his brow. "And you look tired."

Daichi blinks. A yawn catches him off guard, as if to prove a point, but when he looks at the watch, he finds out it's only half past six. Great, he was staring _and_ daydreaming. Not creepy at all.

 "Sorry," Daichi apologizes, rubbing his eyes. "Had an early morning and a long night before. And the beer is totally working against me today."

Suga's mischievous smile is a blessing. "I know, right? The jet lag is killing me. Do you want a coffee?"

Daichi blinks at him again. He glances at his watch and asks, "Now?" but just the mere idea of coffee makes him feel so much better.

"You know, it's a normal thing in France to drink and eat really late."

"Oh, really?" Daichi breathes, focussing all his attention exclusively on Suga. The man looks at him from under his lashes, and Daichi can't help but to feel butterflies flutter in his stomach. It's such a nostalgic feeling, and at the same time, so completely foreign, he can't help but to smile. Is it the alcohol? Is it the mysterious aura of happiness that Suga radiates like the sun?

"Daichi, are you listening?" Suga smiles at him, hand landing on his thigh. Daichi's head falls down to stare at it.

"Sorry, what?" He splutters, blinking away whatever spell he's fallen under.

Suga nods his head, standing up. "We're having coffee. Trust me, you'll feel much better." He says and goes out the booth to order the drinks for them.

Daichi forces himself to actively listen to the conversation again, noticing Tanaka looking awfully smug the closer Asahi gets to the punch line about the bitchy neighbour who yelled at him for leaving trash bags out on the hallway because he didn't want to stink up their flat, but whatever he wants to announce is interrupted by Suga stepping into the room with Shimizu in tow. Everyone buzzes with 'welcome's and 'how-are-you's, and praises about Shimizu's impeccable choice of outfit until Noya returns with an extra cushion for her. She takes a place between Asahi and Suga who scoot over to make more place for her, and quickly apologizes for her late arrival.

"There was a problem with some contracts," She clarifies, a little out of breath. "Some of our models were still students, so we had to make some adjustments in their contracts. This legal stuff is a pure torture."

"Need a hand?" Daichi offers, but Shimizu smiles at him, shaking her head.

 "All taken care of already. Thankfully we've got people for that, but they needed me to see everything first for some reason - and of course it couldn't wait until tomorrow."

"Look out, it's mister steal your contract here." Noya laughs.

"Come on, that was a little bit forced." Daichi frowns at him.

"So as I was saying-" Tanaka starts, but Ennoshita shoots him down.

"You weren't, you didn't  get the word yet!"

"As _I was saying_ ," Tanaka ignores him, whipping out a little golden box from the pocket of his hoodie.

"No fucking way!" Noya shouts, slamming his palm against the table and pointing an accusatory finger at him, while Hinata screeches, elbowing Kageyama's drink of his hand.

"I'll be damned!" Ennoshita leans back, putting his hands on the table in an 'I-give-up' fashion. "Tanaka getting engaged."

"Planning!" Tanaka emphasizes, letting the ring go around the table so that everyone can marvel at it. Daichi mutely passes the ring to Suga, who looks at it with glistening eyes, mouth forming a little 'o'. He holds it for both Daichi and Shimizu to see, while Tanaka explains that he still hasn't worked up the guts to ask Kanoka for her hand, but Daichi occupies himself studying Suga's hair. 

"I will ask her for you if you want, but man! Just do it!"  Noya pep talks him, rolling on the floor. "So this is why you said we'll be drowning in alcohol tonight? Man, we need to order a round of something sharper than just beer to celebrate this."

"Kind of," Tanaka twists his head from side to side. "The true reason hasn't gotten to the word yet." Tanaka drawls, craning his head over the table to teasingly wiggling his brows at Suga.

Everyone follows his eyes in unison, and even Kageyama pauses from screaming at Hinata to find out what's happening.

Suga flushes red and passes the box with Tanaka's engagement ring to Asahi, who accepts it but keeps his eyes trained on him instead, eyes wide with expectation.

Daichi stares at him as if he just saw him for the first time ever. When Suga moves to tuck the left part of his hair behind his ear, Daichi's eyes fall on the silver band around his finger and something _just clicks_.

"I'm engaged!" Suga says, his flush growing more prominent when everyone bursts with even more excitement. Noya storms out of the room to order a bottle of sake.

"You're what?"

"Engaged?"

"Congratulations!"

Daichi stares, frozen in place. He wonders if this is what it feels to have a bucket of scalding water poured over him. Suddenly he feels like the coffee is not needed anymore. He's completely - and unfortunately - awake.

"Who's the lucky lady?" Yamaguchi asks, leaning on the table to get closer. Hinata mirrors his pose, both breathlessly waiting for an answer.

"It's not a lady," Suga says, but his voice is so quiet, and smile kind of fading. Daichi thinks he didn't hear correctly.

"Oh, it's a man then? Who's the lucky guy? Do we know him?" Hinata showers him with questions, voice growing steadily thinner. Suga sweeps the room with his eyes -the lack of any negative reaction seems  to put him at ease. His smile blooms wider.

Noya bursts in with a bottle of sake, yelling "what did I miss?" when he notices Yamaguchi and Hinata leaning over the table.

"I met him in France." Suga says when Kageyama drags Hinata back to his seat by his collar, barking at him to stay put and "shut up, I can't hear, idiot!" Yamaguchi does the same in barely contained excitement, practically vibrating in his seat.

"He's not French. He's Japanese." Suga corrects when Hinata starts asking about what French men are like. "I didn't know a word in French and I was unlucky enough to ask people who didn't know much English, so he played my interpreter until we managed to find my stuff."

"Love at first luggage loss!" Ennoshita laughs, urging Noya to pour the drinks faster. "Romantic. Do tell us more!"

"Is it the writer talking? Or the friend?" Noya teases.

Ennoshita brushes him off with an eloquent wave of his hand. "Both, now shut up! I wanna know more. When's the wedding?"

Suga shrugs. "We didn't really talk about that yet."

Asahi finally shakes off the initial surprises. "To think I once 'had my bets on you and Shimizu." He sniffles, shaking his head.

Suga and she share a look. "I think I said I'm not going to marry Sugawara." Shimizu says, asking to see Suga's ring. "I'm happy to hear you got over it," she laughs merrily, holding up his hand to see better. It looks kind of funny when it's the man showing off a ring to the woman.

Daichi is, however, still too stunned to appreciate the joke. He holds up his cup of sake and stares at his own pathetic reflection. A memory flashes in his mind - the day in the last year of high school when Suga stopped him on the way home and confessed to him. Daichi thanked him but refused, because he was planning to ask Michimiya out. Suga dealt with it gracefully, but Daichi noticed the tightness around his smile. They moved on with their lives almost without a hitch.

Shortly before graduation, Daichi finally grew a pair and asked Yui out. They moved in together during college, life was a blast, they were all happy. Or as happy as they could get in college.

He also remembers the first after-years meet up. It was basically a good-bye party before Suga's sudden trip to Europe. Yui was there, too.

_Is it five years already?_

Daichi is stunned until he hears someone call his name. He stammers out an apology and a lame "congratulations," saying he suddenly feels old with everyone having babies and getting married. Somehow, the excuse works, and _somehow_ nobody brings out the issue of Daichi's pathetic love life - thank God for Tanaka and Suga taking the spotlight. Daichi gulps down his sake, assuring Suga with a smile when he catches his worried eyes.

Their coffee finally arrives but Daichi doesn't feel like drinking it. However, when Suga worries again if he's really feeling well, Daichi assures him with a flippant gesture, opting to pour the hot coffee down his throat instead of answering . The quality performance he puts on makes him consider asking Ennoshita to cast him in one of his movies.

To everyone's surprise, it's Tsukishima who suggests Suga brings his fiancé over next time.

 _'Please don't!'_ Daichi thinks, almost blurting it out loud. He doesn't want to meet him. Not because he might not like the guy - God no. It would make so many things easier if the guy turned out to be a royal dick. No, Daichi's afraid he's gonna like him.

Everyone expects him to start talking next. What a joy. Daichi puts on a smile he hopes doesn't look like someone just kicked him in the balls.

"How do I even up this one?" He jokes, making everyone laugh. Yeah, so funny. But Suga is laughing too, and he looks so happy. Daichi swallows the bitterness and talks. "Got another promotion last month!" He grins, downing another shot of sake. He tries not to think about how getting a promotion was the last nail on the coffin of his and Yui's relationship. "I won't be spending the nights in the office anymore."

Everyone takes it as a joke except Asahi, who meets his eyes with a grimace on his face. Daichi microscopically shakes his head. Asahi understands. He downs another shot of sake.

"I'm so happy to hear that!" Suga says, pouring him another shot. He doesn't know if the warmth that spreads over his body is because of the alcohol or the fact that Suga congratulates him with such sincere honesty it would make wilted flowers bloom again.

 _'Small victories,'_ Daichi thinks.  And small victories, indeed. At least Suga is happy.

* * *

Everyone thought Tsukishima's idea about bringing the guy along _next time_ was so groundbreaking, they agreed to meet the next week. Hinata and Yamaguchi were ecstatic, but they weren't able to come, and the rest of them agreed mostly to find out if the guy is _worthy._ Well, Daichi is one of them, along with Ennoshita , sitting next to Tsukishima on a high stool in a bar, sucking a lemon while scrutinizing the man by Suga's side. Noya and Asahi are somewhere in between, but Asahi is there just to provide the quasi-menacing background after a long shift - a very pathetic menacing background, since he can't even muster a proper stern face. Being a security guard must be tough. Thankfully, Tanaka fakes the tough, antagonizing bloke perfectly.

If Lee Byung‑hun had a blond, Japanese, younger brother, it would be this guy. His name is Yuki Hirano and he's the embodiment of perfection Daichi couldn't even hope to achieve. Or at least he seems to be.

He is attentive, polite, entertaining and funny, and Daichi desperately wants to hate him. He even ruins their plan to get him drunk to find out his true face - while they order a round of beers, Hirano asks for some fancy alcohol-free drink with a tiny umbrella that makes Daichi's eye twitch.  

"You're not drinking?" Tsukishima asks innocently because Daichi doesn't trust his voice tonight. Yuki shakes his head.

"I drank last time we went out, so now it's my turn to go dry." He gives Suga _a look_ accompanied by a lopsided grin.

 _'Oh yes, mister perfect,'_ Daichi thinks, studying the cracks in the table. He doesn't really mean it in a sarcastic way. That's a really nice deal they have going on.

"Mm, true," Suga agrees, "It's not fun hauling your body into the bed. You weigh a ton! Now it's your turn to take care of me."

Daichi notices Tsukishima's squint.

He kills the time preparing a brush off in case they start acting all lovey-dovey, but both of them remain perfectly PDA-free throughout the whole night. There is no secret hand-holding situation going on under the table, there are no double meaning looks being exchanged, no secret kisses, no sly arms sneaking around anyone's shoulder - well, Tanaka and Noya are at it, but that doesn't count.

There is nothing. Just two perfectly proper dudes hanging out. There is a jab or two hinting at various things from their personal lives, an inside joke here or there, a _look -_ a starry glance Suga graces the man with as if he just gave him the Moon - that makes Daichi just a tiny bit jealous, but otherwise nothing that would make them disapprove of the guy. He doesn't boast, he's calm and composed, and his jokes are genuinely funny. Daichi can't help but to laugh at them, thinking 'fuck you' right after, and mentally scolding himself for being so petty. His only flaw is that he doesn't play volleyball. Or any sport at all.

They scoot closer to each other when Suga finishes his sixth beer and his head starts lolling to the side, but Hirano only offers his shoulder for him to lie against, and continues in the story about how they nearly got lost on their trip to Paris Catacombs, because he agreed to make an adrenalin stop by in a tunnel for a bit of fun.

"Wait a minute," Ennoshita stops him with an hand. "You almost got lost in an underground ossuary just because you went for a quick romp in the shadows?"

Hirano shrugs, twirling the umbrella between his thumb and forefinger. "You've got to be ready to do cheeky stuff if you're dating this one." He says, finally looping his arm around Suga, who slides his head against his chest with a grumble, rubbing his sleepy eyes.  

"Cheeky is a very mild way to put it," Daichi muses, licking the beer foam from his lip. It's really difficult to keep up with these guys, and he's even surprised to see he's worse off than Tsukishima, who either hides the drunkenness or is somehow immune to alcohol. He watches them like a hawk, though - Daichi wonders if it's a journalist thing.

"Are you alright?" Daichi hears Hirano murmur against Suga's temple, glancing at the watch. Suga hums in a positive answer, pressing a little kiss to his cheek. That's possibly the first intimate thing they've done.

"So how did this-" Tanaka points at them, "exactly happen?"

Hirano exaggerates raking his mind for the memory. "I helped him on the airport-"

"Yeah, yeah, we know _that."_ Noya interjects, waving his hand to dismiss his train of thoughts. "He means _that!"_ he says, jerking his head at them again as if that gesture was any more clearer.

"It was a holiday fling and then it wasn't." Hirano sighs, shrugging as if it meant nothing. Daichi catches the brief look of fondness when the man glances at his own silver band. Too bad his explanation didn't answer shit. Daichi wants to say it out loud but Hirano interrupts him.

"Alright," he says, leaning back in his seat, throwing a little glance around. His tone is a little bit patronizing , and his gaze lingers on Daichi. "You've got exactly the rest of your drinks to harass me with _The Talk_." He says, holding Suga near a little bit protectively. Daichi doesn't really know how to interpret the tone combined with the gesture.  

"Clever man," Ennoshita drawls, finger-gunning him. "Is that why you didn't drink?"

Yuki shrugs. "It really was my time to play the mom, but I kinda knew the moment Suga suddenly said his friends want to meet me. _And_ I wanted to know what kind of friends he has here."

Daichi frowns. Maybe it's the alcohol, but the sentence doesn't sit right with him.

"So you know the drill?" Tanaka growls, still attempting to keep playing the bad boy.

"I remember the basics from a French soap opera, yes."

"You seem like a nice guy," Noya says, stifling a burp, shaking Asahi's arm to wake him up. The man just keeps snoring away. "And I really want to eat as many wedding cakes as I can, so don't screw it up, alright?"

"I humbly accept the compliment!" Yuki inclines his head, voice laced with barely suppressed amusement. "You seem like a bunch of nice lads, too. I'm actually glad I went out with you tonight." Daichi feels the 'but' coming from miles away. He's not disappointed. "But it's the highest time to get this lightweight home to bed -if you would excuse us."

"Got a car?" Daichi blurts out as Hirano starts coaxing Suga into a wakeful state in hushed, gentle tones. He shakes his head.

"I called a cab." He murmurs, draping Suga's arm around his neck.

Nishinoya slams his drink on the table in outrage."What? When?" Ennoshita throws his hands in the air.  

Yuki winks at them, flashing a peace sign. "Wouldn't you like to know!" He grins. "Tell you what - next time, I'm paying. You can get me shit faced and dig for the real dirty stuff!"

They all raise glasses at him in a last toast. When his phone blinks to life, announcing the ride is waiting, he waves at them, and says, "Bonne nuit!"

"Next time, man!" Noya yells after him. "Be sure it's the bachelor's party!"

Only, there is no ' _next time'_ for Yuki Hirano.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments would be absolutely lovely! <3


	2. Part 2: Accidents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :3c

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank God for social_monstrosity because otherwise this wouldn´t be here!  
> Enjoy some angst!

Daichi doesn't really care, or even has the free time to go out for drinks with the rest of the guys to pry into Suga and Hirano's personal lives. Summer work load welcomes him with open arms, and even though he doesn't have to spend the weekends at the office more than twice at the end of every month, Daichi doesn't feel like it's his - or anybody's - place to drill holes into Suga's fiancé. The guy left a decent impression, and considering Suga's not afraid to get absolutely wasted next to the guy, Daichi, even though he _was_ a bit salty about the guy's tone by the end of the first outing, doesn't feel the need to stalk him with a magnifying glass and a Sherlock hat.

What he does do, mostly because of Noya's nagging, and mostly because Suga does it, too, is that he joins a group chat which he mutes the second the messages start flooding in.

It is a great thing to keep in touch with people - Daichi should be ashamed for only _really_ hearing about the others through gossip and during the five-year-later get-togethers - but he just can't allow himself to get distracted from his work every odd hour or whenever Noya and Hinata start a gunfight with snapshots. There are occasions when he _does_ let himself get distracted from his work, though, and it's every time he notices Suga popping online to drop in a sentence or two, occasionally a picture with Hirano - Daichi catches himself staring at it longer than it should.

He's happy for them. He really is. He keeps telling himself that every time he moves his thumb over Hirano's smiling face whenever the man has his cheek smushed against Suga's, a toothy grin plastered over his sharp-jawed face. Daichi is green with jealousy because even though he and Michimiya had their diabetes-inducing period filled with cuddles and feeding each other strawberries, they never had the chance to boast about it to the others with such perfect pictures as Suga and Hirano are. They look like cropped out of a magazine.

It's his own fault that his relationship crumbled into dust. Not even MacGyver could save it. Daichi lay down the bricks to his own downfall very thoroughly. When the way was finished, Daichi put his hands on his hips, huffing out a satisfied ' _perfect_ ' and let Yui waltz out of his life, and right across his back, making him the last brick. 

He deserved it, because while he could tell his boss the contents of a document just by smelling the page, he couldn't even recall if Yui has bought a new perfume or not.

Such is the burden of workaholics - something that Daichi never hoped to become.

The light of his phone makes him snap out of his self-pitying reminiscing. The photo that loads in the chat almost makes him weep.

It's Suga. With a baby in his arms. Cheekily smiling at the camera while the baby is reaching for a strand of his hair.

Daichi's stares at the picture as if it contained the scientific evidence that the Earth is flat. A message pops up under the picture, saying: "Kinoshita's darling is the cutest!" The deep, relieved sigh that Daichi lets out makes his head spin.

The chat floods with more messages, but Daichi is still too busy staring at the heavens in a false alarm. This chat idea was not a good idea. His poor heart can't handle it.

Another picture pops up. This time it captures Suga handing the baby over to Hirano. Daichi coughs out some salt and moves to enlarge the picture, but the exact moment he touches the screen, his mother calls, and his thumb falls on the answer button.

His mother's voice filters through the speaker. He stares at the picture of his mother while her voice steadily gains volume the longer he remains unmoving, until he lets his head fall between his shoulders in defeat, and answers the call.

"Hey, mom." He tries not to sound too pathetic.

* * *

Arranging an outing with friends is much different than arranging a visit to one's mother. Partially because making an excuse to avoid your best friend's fiancé is much easier than making an excuse to avoid a raging mother who hasn't had the opportunity to feed her child homemade wonders for almost a year.

Not even his boss voices any protests when Daichi announces - _announces,_ not asks - taking a day off before and after the second week of July.

There is, however, one redeeming fact that makes him not feel too guilty about refusing a bar dive. By the looks of it, Suga is having a late house-warming tour, catching up with every former teammate and their mother separately. Daichi harbours a fleeting hope that he might come knocking on his apartment door alone, but the ever loyal Hirano is always by his side. And doesn't everyone just love him to bits?

The lemony taste the thought leaves in Daichi's mouth is enough to make his tongue tingle. He is still a sucker enough to admit that he wouldn't mind finding them both at his threshold. Maybe he could learn a thing or two from the man.

Just to join the conversation in some way, Daichi types out his plans of visiting Torono in July - the reactions vary from _'oh man, I wish I had a day off to go, too'_ to _'I wonder if Takeda is still teaching'_ but Suga's message makes Daichi's brain light out like a Christmas tree with excitement.

His message says, "Want to meet up and go check out the school?" Daichi reads the sentence twice to make sure he saw right, and slowly raises his arms towards the sky, silently praising the heavens.

He rewrites his reply four times before he's happy with it.

* * *

July rears its ugly head in, and the second the clock strikes two in the afternoon, Daichi shoves the work off the table, and marches out of the office while resisting the urge to flip everyone off as he goes. He makes a stop at his flat to trade black business suitcase for his sports bag, kiss good-bye to his strangling tie, which he throws over his shoulder like a bride a bouquet of flowers. With a satisfied sigh, he kicks the door close, phone ready on his ear, cab service already dialing.

The flight to Sendai is only an hour long, but the way to Toronto drags on forever. There's an afternoon traffic jam on the highway leading out of the city, and even the bus driver lovingly takes his time climbing the hill that blocks the way to their quiet little town.

It's almost half past five when Daichi finally steps out of the vehicle, glad to be able to stretch his sore limbs. He throws his bag over his shoulder, fills his lungs with familiar, pine scented air, and makes his way home, taking note of the three police cars passing by. He pauses to look after them as they drive by, but thinks nothing of it until he spots another one parking by Sakanoshita store. He crosses the street, pretending not to snoop as he passes by the window, and spots Ukai shaking his head at a pair of officers.

A meat bun would make a lovely, sentimental welcome, but Daichi sure as hell won't butt in at a time like this. He keeps walking, musing about what Ukai could've have done to attract such customers - was his store robbed? But there were no broken windows. Another police car passes by. What is this even, Daichi frowns, shaking his head. Is there Yakuza making a holiday nest at Torono?

He abandons the thoughts when he arrives at the forked road where Suga and he used to meet on their way to school. He looks down the street with a sigh, smiling to himself at the fond memories. To think he once refused Suga on this very corner...

And speak about the Devil, there he is! Just like in the old times. Suga's walking down the street to meet him, looking just like he just stepped out of their graduation picture.

Daichi's mind backpedals in an instance. Something's not right. Did Suga cut his hair? Daichi squints, putting his bag down, waiting for the man to come closer. He hasn't noticed him, yet. Suga is power-walking down the street with his head bowed down and shoulders tense. The noise from the huge silver-gray suitcase he's dragging behind drowns out Daichi's first call of his name.

He does look up on the second try, though, coming to a dead stop with an unsettling startle. Daichi's feels all his insides lurch and twist into a painful knot when he sees his swollen, red eyes and broken lip.

_'Motherfucker',_ Daichi thinks, his body moving on instinct. ' _That false, lying fuck!'_   The rage that burns in his veins is suffocating.

"What the fuck happened?" Dachi blurts out, hands awkwardly hovering in the air, tingling to wrap Suga into a hug. The man stares at him in a daze, while Daichi looks him over. He's pale as death, and the side of his face is swollen and littered with tiny scratches. "Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" Daichi continues, voice clipped, looking around to see if Hirano is anywhere in sight. "Do you need hel-"

"Daichi," Suga cuts him off, making him close his mouth with a click. Daichi bites his tongue, tasting blood. He looks so hurt and devastated. "Please, I can't- I- I need to be alone now." His voice breaks and eyes gloss over.

"Where are you going? If you need to stay over-"

Suga shakes his head, mouth twisting into a bitter grimace. "Thank you, but I'm staying at the hotel." He sniffs, swallowing with such difficulty it makes Daichi notice the bruises peeking over his high collar.

"Suga," Daichi tries again, this time not holding his hand back. He carefully touches his shoulders, the knot in his gut tightening when he feels the tremble of his body. "Please, if there's anything I could help with-"

"No, really. Just... I- I" Some tears spill over. Suga covers his mouth, stifling a sob. "I'm sorry. Some other time."

Daichi doesn't want to, but he nods. He lets go of Suga's shoulders and watches him walk away, shoulders jerking with the cries he desperately tries to hold in.

He wants to punch something - or better, _someone._ He wants to beat the teeth out of Hirano's damn mouth and shove them down his throat. Daichi slams the door of his house close with a force that has the windows shake in their frames.

His mother immediately sticks her head into the hallway, throwing the dish rag away to go hug her son.

"What is going on today?" is the first thing that falls out of his mouth. His mother jerks away, effectively making him feel guilty for barking at her in that tone. "I'm sorry, bad day." He apologizes, pressing a kiss to her cheek. He can't help it, though - the anger boils his insides. His mother peeks over his shoulder and out of the window as if to make sure nobody hears, then helps him take off his suit and drags him to the kitchen.

"You haven't heard!" She gasps in conspiracy, sitting down next to him by the table. "It's the Sugawara's boy! He's queer, did you know?"

Daichi forces himself to hold back a growl. "That's not the end of the world, mother. I just met him, by the way. Don't make such a face while you're talking about him. Do you know what happened, by the way? Also, why is there like a cavalry of cops snooping around?"

She leans closer to him, speaking in hushed tones as if the neighbors could hear her otherwise. "Horrible thing!" She whispers, shaking her head. "That boy Koushi brought with him- somebody beat him to death in the park."

The boiling anger dies out like a snuffed candle. Suddenly, he feels cold. Daichi stares at his mother, mouth gaping and mind replaying the last sentence.

"They say it was an accident, some drunken brawl, but Koushi was there too, and they didn't- you know. We don't know what happened, but they didn't hurt him. I don't think it was an accident, you know?" Her voice dips into an even quieter whisper. "They say the Sugawara's were very upset when Koushi  showed up with the boy. Some even say it was them who had him beat up."

But Daichi is not listening anymore. His brain is stuck on a slide show of Suga's clumsily cut hair and swollen face.

Hirano is dead. And Suga was there with him. Daichi's stomach makes a sickening flip.

They did hit him - that would explain his broken lip and swollen face, but just what really happened? Did they force him to watch? The thought makes him sick. Did Hirano manage to distract them while he enabled Suga to run?

Daichi doesn't know if it's good or not, but his mother doesn't talk more about it. She tries to steer his mind away from the topic with small talk and boring gossip when she sees his state of shock, but Daichi just can't focus on anything else but the image of Suga's beaten face.

His own mind is his own enemy. When he retires to bed in the evening, after mumbling his way through a conversation about his work with his parents, which he doesn't really remember, Daichi slams the door close and slumps against the frame of his bed, feeling his limbs frozen numb. He can't sleep. His damned imagination runs wilder than a pack of deer, crashing right in the gutter. He can't stop thinking about what could have happened.

What if he had to watch? The scratches on the side of Suga's face make his stomach flip once again. His mind flashes a picture of a group of men holding Suga down by his hair, cheek pressed against the cold concrete, laughing in his ear while another group beats Hirano to death. It's that and nothing else. Just flashes in front of his eyes. He even tries to rub the image away, but no matter what he does, it won't leave him alone.

Sleep does not come easy that night, but when the emotional strain finally wears him down enough, Daichi wishes to have remained awake.

He dreams about it. About the scene in the park. Everything is quiet except for the sound of Suga's breathy, pained sobs. He can't see anyone, but Suga's sobs are gradually turning into a steady wail that makes him want to throw up. Then he spots Hirano's body lying on the ground, staring back at him with unseeing dark eyes. His arm is reaching towards him. Daichi calls his name but no sound comes out. Something moves beneath him - he realizes he's kneeling. When he looks down, he sees Suga.

He's the one holding him down, straddling his back and forcing him to watch. 

Daichi's own gasp wakes him up. He lies in his bed for a while, body rigid while his mind catches up with the fact that it was only a dream. He slowly sits up,  his mind still not entirely connected to his body, and stares at his tingling hands. Letting out a shaky sigh, he wipes the sweat off his brow and goes to the bathroom to take a shower.

He goes downstairs to make a cup of coffee, and drinks it while staring out of the window, listening to his mother's voice bouncing off the walls of his mind.

Could the Sugawaras have really been so upset with having a gay son to have his fiancé killed? Somehow, Daichi doubts that. But there is a small voice at the back of his mind that tells him he knows absolutely nothing about them, other than they are influential, and very conservative.

When the clock strikes seven, and his father appears in the kitchen, bleary-eyed and wrapped in a bathrobe, Daichi announces he's going to see Suga. His father mutely nods, putting the kettle on the stove.

On his way to the hotel, Daichi realizes he didn't even ask Suga if he could see him - or if Suga wants to see _him_. Or if he's even awake yet. But he's already shuffling on his feet, staring through the glass of the locked automatic door leading to the hotel's vestibule. The clerk at the reception cranes his head over the counter with a frown, but he unlocks the door. Daichi enters, greeting the man with a tight smile. Maybe it's because of his desperate, nightmare worn down face, but the clerk tells him the number of Suga's apartment  - he isn't really thrilled to do so, but when Daichi almost hits the counter with his forehead as he bows, he tells him the number with a click of his tongue.

_'Can I see you?'_ Daichi types into his phone and sends it. The reply comes a minute later.

' _now? I'm not feeling well, I´m sorry_ '

' _Yes. Please. I'm sorry, I'm worried about you, I really need to see you!_ ' Daichi sends back, marching through the long hallways on the fourth floor, counting the doors. 402, 403, 404, 405.

' _where are you?_ '

Daichi stops, raises his fist and gently raps on the door. Nothing happens for such a long while, he almost thinks he got the wrong door, but there's a click, and the door slowly opens up, revealing Suga's confused, ashen face. 406. His eyes are glossed over and not any less red than yesterday, but the dark shadows under his eyes are a startling addition. He looks like death warmed over, and the paleness of his skin makes the bruises look so much worse.

They just stand there for a while, staring at each other with gaping mouths, but then Daichi hears his name in a quiet rasp, and he's wrapping his arms around Suga, multiple apologies tumbling from his mouth.

For one agonizing moment Suga doesn't react. He's like mannequin in Daichi's arms - body rigid and unresponsive, but when Daichi says "I'm sorry about Hirano," he feels Suga fist the back of his shirt, and melt against him, letting him cry into his shoulder. Daichi's hand finds its way to the base of Suga's neck, fingers brushing against his short cropped hair. The soothing nonsense that spills from his lips sounds foreign in his ears. 

* * *

Daichi absolutely detests the idea of leaving Suga on his own, especially when the pain of his loss is so fresh and raw. He asks - literally begs - Suga to come with him to spend the rest of the weekend at his house, because he can't bear to see him alone at a time like this. 

"You don't need to talk to me, or my parents, or anyone if you don't feel like it. Just let me keep an eye on you and take care of you until things get a little more stable!" Daichi pleads while Suga tries to block him out, screwing his eyes shut and shaking his head in rejection. He argues that he couldn't possibly impose, it's not right, he will be fine, he just needs a little time alone. His mouth says _'n_ o _'_ but Daichi feels his shaky fingers grasp the sleeve of his shirt. He's struggling with it, but he is reaching out.

And Daichi knows that, and doesn't stop until Suga finally nods.

He doesn't ask his parents if it's okay to bring him over, though. He steps into their house and announces it, already steeled for an argument - just as he would be if he was entering an office meeting. But his parents offer no opportunity for an argument. His mother welcomes them as if they just came back from school, ushering them upstairs to do their homework.

They turn into ghosts, filling the air with useless small talk that seems to put Suga at peace. It's like a scene from a movie - his father is sitting in the living room, legs crossed and news in hand, his mother standing behind him, staring at the TV, polishing a plate to perfection.

 There is a futon already waiting for them in Daichi's room - looks like his father knew from the start. How he knew, or how he talked his mother into it, Daichi has no idea, but when he descends the stairs to ask about it - and thank them - his mother just shoves a fresh, scented towel into his arms with a stern glare and a jerk of her chin towards the bathroom. Daichi understands.

While Suga takes a long, hot bath, he carries two trays of food into his room, and when Suga emerges from the bathroom wrapped in a bathrobe, the sweet scent of his mother's bath salts punching the air right out of Daichi's lungs, they dig into the seven wonders of food his mother whipped out of nowhere, apparently.

The heavy blanket of silence that reigns in the room is almost unbearable, but Daichi squares his shoulders, clenches his teeth and endures it, even though it hurts to look at Suga's vacant stare. 

It isn't until late at night that they finally speak. 

Daichi's temples throb with a headache from staring at the computer screen, pretending to go through the mail just to keep himself from asking some dumb, insensitive questions. He leans back in his seat, hoping Suga might have dozed off, but he finds the man in the same position as four hours ago - sitting on top of the covers with knees drawn to his chest, and arms lifelessly resting next to his body.

"Let's sleep." Daichi suggests with a resigned sigh. "I'll take the futon." He adds when Suga moves to climb off the bed.

He tries to argue, but Daichi's scary alpha businessman tactic seems to work in his favor. Suga remains in the bed, and Daichi embraces the hard ground. It's not the most comfortable place to be falling asleep, and for once, Daichi is glad, because he can keep an eye on Suga, who just keeps tossing and turning. After an hour, he can't take it anymore.

"You're not going to sleep, are you?" Daichi asks, making Suga stop mid-turn. He gets a negative hum in reply.

"I miss-" Suga cuts himself off. "I can't sleep." He says instead. Daichi knows exactly what he misses.

"Come here," he says, holding up the covers with one arm, inviting Suga in. On a second thought, this might not be such a great idea. But he realizes it a second too late.

"Daichi, I can't-"

"Just... come here. I don't care. It doesn't matter." But Suga doesn't move. "I will drag you off the bed-" Daichi warns, and thank God it's enough to make Suga move. He hesitantly slides next to him, making Daichi bite back a curse when he feels his ice-cold feet brush against his. He feels Suga open his mouth in protest, but he doesn't give him a chance to voice it. He lets the covers fall over him, locking him in the figurative prison. It's a little awkward at first - mostly because there is like a foot of space between them, and mostly because Daichi's mind is screaming ' _what the fuck are you doing, you moron._ '

He honestly has no idea. In some parallel universe, maybe he would have offered his arm for Suga to lay his head against, cuddle him to his chest in a welcoming presence game of I-am-Hirano, just so he could find a full night's rest. Maybe he would have kissed him good-night. Maybe they would have had grief sex and then Suga would have fallen in love with him, forgetting the pain of recent loss-- Except Daichi has never really lied with a man in an intimate way. His only experience with kissing boys ends at the barriers of his imagination, and even if he wondered what it would feel like to make love to Suga instead of Yui at the beginning of their relationship, the thoughts sank into the depths of his mind the first time he came with a whine of her name.

"Are you going to stare at me until I fall asleep?" Suga whispers, making Daichi's screeching mind come to a dead stop.

"Yeah," he says with a shrug, supporting his head with his arm to look at him better. "I won't sleep until you do."

Suga's face twists into a grimace. "I can't sleep." Yeah, Daichi can imagine just how much he sleeps these days. But he's not giving up yet. There's still time.

"I know," he says, rubbing his eye with his free hand. "I know the look of sleepless nights. Mine were a little bit different from what yours are now." He adds, "I'm sorry."

"Me too." Suga's eyes fall on Daichi's collarbones, but his stare is miles away. The silence stretches on for so long, Daichi thinks it's hopeless, but Suga surprises him. "Your mom has told you about it, right?"

"Yeah."

"What else did she say?"

This is exactly what Daichi has been trying to achieve, but now that Suga finally started talking, he can't help but to hesitate. "She said your parents were upset with Hirano."

Suga makes a jerky nod.

"She also said-" Daichi bites his lip. Should he even say it? Is something so outrageous even possible? Fuck it. Better to let everything go. "She said it might have been your parents who- who-" He can't even finish the damn sentence - how is Suga supposed to talk about it? _'You're pathetic,'_ Daichi scolds himself.

"People think it was my parents who had him killed, right?"

Daichi searches for the right words. "Would they-? I mean... What do you think?" It's too damn dark to see what face Suga's making.

"Do you know what they said when the police brought me home? ' _Good.'_ They said 'good' when I told them Yuki's dead. I watched him-" A sob wracks his body. Daichi feels his head spin - the worst possible scenario his damn mind concocted - it can't be. He feels his hand come to rest on Suga's cheek.

"They came out of nowhere - we were just walking in the park, Yuki was trying to calm me down because I had an argument with my parents. I don't even know how many of them were there. They taunted us at first, throwing the usual insults, but Yuki just - we just kept going. He didn't provoke them. We just went faster, but then one of them grabbed me," another sob that chills Daichi to his bones. "He held me down." Suga finally weeps, his voice breaking. "Yuki hit him, but the rest of them - he just was no match for them. I couldn't do shit! I was so pathetic! I couldn't even push one of them off me while there were at least three-- he held me down and I could just watch! Yuki-they-he stopped - he just stopped moving suddenly, but they kept going." Suga takes in a deep shuddering breath. Daichi can't even do that. "And then they just left. As if nothing has happened. They walked away." He continues, voice hoarse. "I remember - I tried to wake him up. I tried to shake him awake, but he wouldn't open his eyes. Then I remember the officer who found me. And he brought me home."

Daichi's lungs finally let out the breath he was holding. A big mistake.

"I hoped- I thought that my mother would- would forgive me!" He laughs, but it's that kind of depreciating, shaky laugh that feels outright _wrong._ "I thought she would, I don't know? Console me? I just watched my fiancé die. No."

Dachi feels his throat close again.

"No, she said ' _good_ '" Suga spits the word out with such disgust, Daichi can practically feel it. "She sat me down in the living room, grabbed a fist full of my hair and just _cut it off!_ With a knife! She didn't even bother to take out the scissors. _'Don't be a disgrace!'_ she said. Because her fucking reputation is so much more important to her than a man's life."

"I'm so sorry, Suga." Daichi murmurs into the crown his hair. He doesn't even remember when he wrapped his arms around him. "I'm so sorry." He hears himself repeat over and _over and over_ until it doesn't make sense anymore.

"I don't know if they did it. I don't know if they could be as vile as to kill a man just because - because their son is not _normal_. I don't know. I don't want to know!"

* * *

Daichi wakes up feeling his entire left arm hurt with pins and needles. It takes him a second to realize why, but then his brain finally catches up with what he sees  - it's Suga. Using his bicep as a cushion. But he's asleep and Daichi doesn't have the heart to relieve the pain. Not now. It's a horrible morning, though - not because Daichi can't feel his arm, or because the first thing he sees is his friend's tear stained cheek, or the fact that he held a man in his arms for basically the whole night. Daichi is tired. And angry. Tired from the emotional roller coaster induced by the horrible retelling of Suga's last evening with Hirano.

Angry because he wants nothing else but to burn Sugawaras' house with them barricaded inside. He wants to grab Suga's mother by the hair and do the same she did to him. He wants to become a lawyer and sue her out of her fortune and property and then laugh at her.

He lets his imagination run wild, at least until Suga wakes up, because that's all he can do. Dream.

* * *

It's almost noon when Suga finally opens his eyes. He wakes up like Daichi did - completely confused, but Daichi's assuring smile seems to put him somewhat at ease.

"Slept well?" He asks. Suga gives him a nod, and even manages a timid smile.

He looks much better than the day before, but then again, sleep does that to people. It's a good thing, too, because he needs _better._ He spends the whole day on the phone, talking to Hirano's family about funeral arrangements. He doesn't notice the group chat exploding with messages.

Former teammates know and are exquisitely freaking out. Daichi placates them with a single message: 'He's fine, he's at my place, give him space.'

Thankfully, they all have enough sense to drop the subject. The chat remains dead for the rest of the day.

Asahi, however, sends him a personal message that's just two exclamation marks. Daichi doesn't know what to think of it at first, but when the second message comes, containing just his name and nothing more, he remembers. He can practically feel Asahi's fretting in the text.

Asahi knows about Suga's confession. He remembers it very well, because Suga had to recover somehow. That _somehow_ was by telling Asahi.

Daichi immediately punches in a reply.

_' you insult me if you think I'm gonna take advantage of him, or let him take advantage of me'_

The reply message comes within thirty seconds.

_'I know I'm just so worried I could literally drill a hole through the ground with my leg'_

Daichi can believe that. He bets Asahi has bitten all his nails away by now.

* * *

The funeral is on Wednesday and Daichi doesn't even let Suga open his mouth before he announces that he's driving him there. He makes sure his boss understands he won't come to work until things are taken care of.  It's not that Daichi has anything to do with the actual funeral other than just driving Suga there, offering his condolences, and then making sure he won't need a ride back to.... Well to wherever he plans to stay after that.

He takes the company car - a ballsy move - but his boss seems to be okay with it. For now, at least, but Daichi doesn't care about anything work related until he's sure Suga's in good hands.

Even the sun itself hid under a dark cloud, as if sensing that it's not a good day to grace them with its shine. Daichi steps out of the car, hovering behind Suga while the man leads him through the Hirano house. He feels out of place. Like a damn imposter. He sits in the very far corner of the room, watching Suga's back while the priest chants.

He doesn't sob. He doesn't even make a noise. When the guests start to offer their condolences to the family, Suga stands at the farthest corner, tears streaming like two silent rivers. He looks detached. Distant. As if he was frozen in time someplace else.

Daichi can't keep looking at him.

_'An accident?'_

_'How unfortunate.'_

_'My sincerest condolences.'_

Daichi can't wait to get out of there. He waits by the car, leaning against the black hood, staring at the tips of his shoes lost in thoughts. Suga comes running to him after all the gifts are given and most of the guests have taken their leave.

"I'm staying." He says, kind of awkwardly. Daichi nods. "They want me to stay until cremation."

"Do you have anywhere to stay after?"

Suga seems caught off guard. Daichi is about to suggest he crashes at his place, but Suga beats him to the word. "They said I could take Yuki's old apartment in Nerima. I don't want it to go to waste and they don't mind me staying. Well, until they decide to sell it. Maybe I'll even buy it off them, who knows."

He's ranting. Nervous. Daichi can't help but to smile. He's cute when he's ranting. Too soon, too far, Daichi. Too fucking far.

"Take care of yourself, okay?" He says before his mind completely swerves off the track. "If you need anything, you know you only have to call."

Suga smiles as well, and bows his head. "Thank you so much for... being there for me." When he straightens up again, Daichi concludes he doesn't even need the sun. Suga's eyes are shining bright enough.

"No problem. I'll be checking up on you. Others as well - God knows I can hold them back only for so long."

Suga bows again.

Daichi climbs into the car, and drives off sneaking glances at the rear mirror until he can't see him anymore.

They don't see each other until late October.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter is turning out to be super long.   
> Soooo, comments?


	3. Amendments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thrilling end!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usually, I thank from the bottom of my empty heart to [social_monstrosity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/social_monstrosity)! 
> 
> Enjoy! 
> 
> Music for the ending (Also, Hirano´s theme song): [Mogwai: What Are They Doing In Heaven Today](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t75b8kv_938)

Daichi has been told he's a good person on many occasions. It has been his schoolmates, when he let them copy his homework; his teammates, who, hearing his motivational speech, were able to stand up straight and carry the team to win;  his coworkers; or just a random, struggling student standing in the queue in front of him, who was a few coins short when buying groceries. All of them looked up at him with a twinkle in their eyes, praising him for what a good man he is.

Once upon a time, Daichi believed them. Once upon a time, he genuinely believed he was a good person, but as he grew older, he began to understand that they thought so just because he wasn't around long enough to prove them wrong. Yui's was not as fortunate as them - Daichi watched the twinkle in her beautiful eyes die out like an old star.

He's not a good person. He's a workaholic train wreck residing in the humanoid husk that is his body. There is only one person who is pleased by this fact, and it's his boss. On one hand -great, why not? The salary raises and promotions just kept coming, but by the time he arrived home with the great news that ' _honey, we will be able to pay off the loan_ and _be able to go on vacation this summer_ ' Yui had her bags packed, and eyes dry. 

Daichi tried to talk to her, tried to apologize and make it right, but every time they sat down and tried to talk about the issue, they always ended up shouting at each other, starting a new argument. Daichi argued, in a very vocal way, that he did it for her, that he just wanted her to have a comfortable and plenty life, but Yui wanted more than just money. Daichi didn't realize until it was too late that she was missing him, not his wallet.

Losing her opened his eyes . He started to look at things differently. But old habits die hard, and before long, he was back at working his ass off - because after Yui left, there was nobody to return home to. He aspired to climb the professional ladder, and at the cost of the person he loved, his wish was granted. He closed his eyes again, and he lulled himself into a comfortable working routine.

Daichi is not a good person. In fact, he is a horrible person. He looks from his unread-mail-infested computer screen to the pile of documents on his left, and then to his phone. The one unread message from Asahi stares back at him, screaming with accusations and disappointment.

' _When was the last time you saw him?_ ' It says, punctuated with a frowny face. So it's already Asahi and Noya's turn to visit him. They have made a full circle.

Ever since Hirano's death, the team has been arguing over the chat about who's going to visit Suga when. They made up weekly routines, making sure he sleeps, eats and feels well, providing emotional support whenever it's needed. Hinata and Yamaguchi live the closest, so they usually pop in during the weekdays to drop off cookies or home-made food. The rest of the team made a timetable, each taking a weekend to stop by or drag Suga out of his apartment.

Everyone, except Daichi, who was the first to promise Suga to visit him, and then break the promise like the trash bag he is. Even Oikawa dropped by! Oikawa - whose life schedule is full enough as it is, managed to take a day off and allegedly deliver himself at Suga's doorstep in the dandiest way possible, bearing gifts from the latest collection of sports and underwear, and a seasonal ticket to all the national volleyball matches.

To his defense, though, Daichi does call him. He called him the day after they parted, he called him to make sure he is alright the following week, and he's been calling him every Wednesday since. He hasn't missed a call once. He was there when Suga called him in the middle of the night, saying he couldn't sleep in a shaky voice that just screamed frayed nerves and desperation. Daichi talked him through the night, and sent him a mix of sleeping herbs his mother used to make tea out of the very next day. The next time Suga called, he thanked him again in that wonderfully sincere voice that makes shivers run down Daichi's spine.

There is nothing to feel guilty about, Daichi contemplates, arms crossed over his chest as he stares at Asahi's message. He knows he's been a dick about the visits, but on one hand, the entire team raids his apartment every week - that takes some weight off his shoulders. Suga is looked after. Daichi might not have the time - or balls, he admits to himself - to visit him personally, but he feels like their evening calls are much more intimate. The things he reads and sees in the group chat is just the surface of what Daichi hears over the phone at night, when he's lying on his huge empty bed, listening to Suga talking about how he feels.

This way he can keep the twinkle in Suga's eye alive. It's good for both of them, Daichi thinks as he types out his reply to Asahi.

_'I talk to him every week.'_

He couldn't have taken a wide berth around the answer, but whatever. He knows Asahi is not going to openly confront him about it because he keeps in touch, but Asahi is there to add fuel to the spiteful voice in the back of Daichi's mind that keeps asking him: _'Is calling really enough?'_

He doesn't have the time to find out right now, however. There's a ton of invoices waiting to be filed away, a list of potential employees to go through and the haunting feeling that his boss might be thinking about sending him to an international conference in early January. The conference itself is not a problem, but the thought of him being forced to have a presentation in a foreign language in front of a hall filled with businessmen and potential investors is enough to keep him awake at night.

Daichi is so paranoid he already started putting together a draft about trade, just to make sure he  won't be caught unprepared. He remains pretty optimistic though - surely his boss would not choose someone whose English is the epitome of tragedy. Daichi might have been good at it once, back in high school when it was all easy exercises and describing pictures, but business talk is so much different, and the years spent at a desk, filling in pre-prepared templates and sending them out to people, left a deep scar on his skills and pronunciation. He did attend some business trips, but there was always someone more talented than him who handled all the talking. Daichi was there to provide an exotic, professional background, because nothing looks more professional than a Japanese man in a black suit accompanied by a professional interpreter. All Daichi has to do is look handsome and important, and maybe throw a frown in for good measure, and the trading treaties just come pouring down right into his hands. 

His phone vibrates.

' _Nice excuse'_ the message says. Daichi indignantly pushes the phone away, puffing up his cheeks. Not everyone has loads of free time. Besides, he doesn't want to impose.

He returns to his laptop, noticing a new mail popping up. It's from his boss and it contains all the information he needs to put together the speech.

Daichi groans and lets his head fall on the keyboard. Karma is a bitch.

* * *

"My career is over," Daichi moans, one hand pressing the phone to his ear and the other supporting his forehead as he bulges his eyes out at the documents and drafts haphazardly spread over his kitchen table and floor.

"What do you mean? Why?" Suga asks with a small laugh.

It's Wednesday night, but this time, it's Daichi who's reaching out. He's on the brink of a break down because there is no way he could write a speech and learn perfect English in under two months.

"There's a very important conference in January and my boss wants me to have a speech."

Suga makes a questioning noise. "But you're good at speeches? You always were. That's why you were the captain, captain." He teases.

"Yes, thank you, but it's different this time. There's gonna be so many important people there."

"I still don't see a problem?"

"My English is tragic, Suga. It's horrible - I haven't used it in years. And this speech, it needs to be perfect. It has to be. My boss is gonna be there, too! Oh man, I'm so screwed."

"Well, what's the speech supposed to be about?"

"It's, like, a summary of the company's trade and achievements and all that. Just, boasting in the most low-key and professional way possible. And some future plans. I don't even know anymore!" Daichi whines, trying to rub the pain away from his eyes. "I've been trying to put something meaningful together for three days already. I can't even think straight anymore! I'm sorry," he draws a breath through his gritted teeth, trying to bottle up his frustration. "I'm of no use tonight."

He can't make this about work again.

"How are you doing?" Daichi asks finally, forcing himself to stop thinking about his imminent career doom. "Did Asahi and Noya come for a visit?"

Suga chuckles. "How do you know?"

"Asahi told me." Daichi says, opting to omit the man's passive-aggressive message.

"They did." Suga says, and then keeps quiet. _Oh no, please don't hang up,_ Daichi mentally prays. He desperately tries to come up with something to talk about. Anything just to keep Suga on the line "Listen, Daichi, -" Suga starts, and _oh, you fucked up, you fucked up again, you moron, he's gonna say he needs to go,_ Daichi's mind screams.

"I think I can help you out with the speech. If-if you want, of course. I mean," Suga sighs. "I kind of, make a living with that. English, I mean. Hello? Are you still there?"

"Yes!" Daichi blurts out, "yes, yes, I am. How? I mean, yes, please? You teach English?" He babbles, voice steadily rising. How the Hell did he not know about this?

"Good. You had me worried there for a second," Suga laughs, trying to cover up the nervousness. "Well, it's kind of complicated - I'm like the boy for everything. So, when are you free? I think this is going to run better face to face."

Daichi can't help but to message Asahi after they agree on a date.

' _You are a lost cause_ ' Asahi writes back. Daichi doesn't know what his problem is. 

* * *

They meet on Friday after Daichi finishes at work and it is then when Daichi realizes he couldn't wait to see him. Suga looks good, or well, as good as a mourning man can. There are worry wrinkles on his forehead, and dark circles under his eyes, but thankfully they are not as bad as when Daichi saw him last. There are some bright silver strands that weren't there before, but then again, so are on Daichi's head. Overall, one can see the look of recovery. Suga was struggling, but he is slowly making his way back up, and that's the thing that matters most.

They go to Daichi's flat, because Suga insists his is the only one he hasn't seen, unknowingly rubbing salt into Daichi's wounds. He doesn't have the time to delve into that too long, though, since Suga goes straight to business.

They go through the papers, and while Suga dutifully goes through the draft Daichi has put together with his blood, sweat and tears, and crosses out every other word, scribbling notes in the margins, Daichi is left to his own devices. He tries to type the follow up of the pages Suga is thoughtfully frowning at, but he catches himself staring at the man's profile more often than at the screen.

Thankfully Suga is so engrossed in Daichi's faulty speech he fails to notice that. Around half past seven, Suga's stomach makes a growl that literally startles Daichi from the staring and they close the evening by ordering takeout.

That becomes a weekly routine until the end the end of November, when Daichi finally has the speech polished to perfection - only thanks to Suga, of course.

Unfortunately for Daichi, he has no time to celebrate. He has exactly one month to learn that speech by heart and with correct pronunciation, and the closer the day of the conference looms over Daichi's head, the longer and more often Suga stays at his place.

His patience seems to be infinite. His humor as well. The first time Daichi tries to recite the speech, he sees Suga's lips wobble in a suppressed laugh. It takes him exactly three sentences to burst into laughter. It's not like Daichi wouldn't want to listen to that laugh to the end of his days, it's just not so flattering when his stiff mouth is the cause of it.

And so they delve into corrections. Suga reads a sentence out loud, and Daichi tries to repeat. Key word: _tries._ There are passages where Daichi screws up so bad Suga can hardly catch his breath. On one hand, it's cute, and Daichi would willingly make a fool out of himself just for Suga to keep that smile on his lips, but on the other, it grinds his professional ego to dust.

They try, over and over, endlessly speaking and repeating, sometimes to the point where Suga literally grabs his face and squeezes his cheeks, wondering if his tongue is really numb. It's tiring - Daichi never thought his mouth could hurt - but around Christmas time, Daichi finally manages to recite the speech without making Suga burst into fits of laughter. To celebrate, Daichi invites him out, and they end up in the café three blocks away from his flat, eating strawberry shortcake and sipping coffee.

Suga seems a little timid that evening, but once they bring up Kinoshita and Narita's kids, who Suga frequently babysits, the tension from his shoulders disappears.

Only when Daichi gets back home and sits down at his computer to check his emails, he finds out it's the twenty-fourth of December, and they just basically went on a date.

The knowledge is mortifying, to say the least. Daichi silently sits on his couch, replaying that evening in his head until his mobile startles him from the spiral of depression he has been busy falling into.

' _Get your head out of your ass, please, Merry Christmas idiot_ '

It's Asahi. Looks like Suga knew.

* * *

The bad taste his own obliviousness leaves in his mouth is crippling, but it seems like nobody else knows about the horrible social and ethical taboo he's committed. Thankfully, he learns from Asahi that Suga was glad he didn't know, and he's thankful they were able to enjoy the evening they way they did.

Daichi still has to silently shake his head at himself in the mirror - the reminder of Suga's grief literally screams at him every time they meet - he carries Hirano's engagement ring on a chain around his neck, for fuck's sake!

_'This,'_ Daichi thinks bitterly, ' _this is why Yui left you.'_

However, he doesn't have the time to wallow in self-pity for too long. The doomsday is coming closer and he still struggles with more than one word, but when the day of the conference rears his ugly head in, Daichi feels prepared. He psyches himself up as best as he can, but it's Suga's good-luck call shortly before his turn that really does the magic. The speech is far from flawless, but he only really screws up twice. Nevertheless, his boss is impressed when he takes the stage after him, his interpreter hot on his heels.

Daichi's first stop after the flight back is at Suga's place, and he is so thankful and happy, he hugs the man tight and spins him around until he squeals.

An elderly lady pokes her head out of her apartment, glaring daggers at them as she shakes her head. Daichi sets Suga down, both flashing a wide apologetic smile at her - two charming smiles are enough to make her disappear in her apartment like a salty snail. Then Daichi feels a tug on his suit, and finds himself in Suga's hallway, following him into his living room.

"Tell me everything." He says, practically shoving Daichi to sit on the sofa. So Daichi does - high on excitement and the feeling of a job well done, he tells Suga about the conference, while the man makes coffee for them both.

Suga listens to him with a smile on his lips, silently sipping from his cup and occasionally prompts him with a question which Daichi is only too happy to answer. It almost feels domestic. Like an evening routine they've always had.

It feels great to have someone genuinely interested in what you say. Daichi leaves around midnight, his face split by a wide grin, and hands shaking with excitement.

* * *

It's that evening that broke the invisible barrier between them. They don't really hang out - Daichi is still too busy with work, but either of them occasionally come over for a visit. It's usually when Daichi needs help with translation, or meet in a cafe when they are both in the city center hunting groceries - in Suga's case, just wasting time in the shops.

They still do their weekly calls, Daichi still stalks the group chat during his lunch break to hear from the others - everything is swell. 

Until it isn't.

* * *

It's around late spring that Tanaka finally scrapes together enough courage and proposes to Kanoka, his childhood _just_ friend and a very long time girlfriend. Daichi remembers his incessant, and rather failing attempts to court Kiyoko. Boy, did he not see he had no chance - especially after Yachi joined the team. Thankfully he got his head straight and adjusted his aspirations.

It's funny actually. To think they started dating around the time Daichi and Yui did - and now they're getting engaged. Daichi sighs wistfully, laying his head against the keyboard of his laptop.

' _Being married to one's work,_ ' Daichi muses. He really takes that excuse to another level.

The blip of his phone wakes him up - the chat is exploding again. Daichi lies down again, holding the phone sideways and scrolling through the messages. Looks like everyone is scheming about the bachelor party, because apparently the wedding is in two months. Daichi doesn't contribute too much, but he follows the plans with his eyes, thinking about if he'll be able to afford two days off for the occasion.

One particular sentence catches his eyes, though.

_'What about Suga?_ '

Daichi's back straightens up as if somebody just shoved a fist up his ass. He looks at the group member list and finds out Suga is indeed not included. The discussion goes a bit quiet, but Daichi does notice Noya drops off.

A personal message comes in.

' _Are you seeing the chat?_ '

' _Unfortunately._ ' Daichi types. He's a little bit torn about the issue - on one hand, good question. Nobody knows for sure how Suga would feel about being invited to a bachelor's party half a year after his own fiancé's death, but then why would they not ask him? Why has Tanaka not asked him already? _Why would they even discuss the thing behind his back?!_

Daichi waits for Asahi's follow up, but it seems he is not going to be indulged.

' _Are you arguing with Noya?_ '

That makes the man reply. ' _Kind of._ '

' _What is '"kind of?"_ '

' _Kind of like you argued with Yui._ '

That makes Daichi back off. Seems like things are quickly going down the hill. And everyone is chickening out about Suga.

* * *

A week later, Suga calls him, but when Daichi answers, he can hear his tone is a little bit off. They catch up with things, chat like everything is as it should be - while it certainly _isn´t_ \- and then Daichi can't hold it back anymore and just blurts it out.

"So Tanaka got engaged." He says, listening to the silence over the line. "And we're trying to find a date and a place for his bachelor party."

Still just silence. Daichi continues.

"And I'd like to ask you two things - first: Do you feel like coming? And second: I'm sorry - we should have asked you outright." It's out. Now, he waits.

The silence on the line drags on, and Daichi is about to curse himself into the pits of Hell, because _did he judge the situation wrong? Maybe saying things outright might not be the correct approach for everyone._ But then he hears Suga's sigh and a "wow." Daichi holds his breath.

"You know, I was really getting fed up with everyone treating me like glass." Suga says, but Daichi still doesn't let that breath out - was that a positive or a negative reaction? "I'd love to go." Suga says, his voice low. Daichi sees him in his mind with his head bowed. "I'm too young to live like a widower. I am very happy for Tanaka finally getting married. I truly am. And I'm sorry everyone had the wrong impression about me. I still mourn-- I still haven't gotten over it, but I´m not going to break down on the spot just because I didn't have the chance to have my bachelor party." He sighs. "I really want to be there with you guys. Thank you, Daichi. I'm glad you asked."

"I'm glad, too. Did you know about the party?" He asks, screwing his face into a grimace, as if expecting the man to shout at him.

Suga huffs out a mirthless laugh. "I did. Asahi told me right away. He was so angry, though he asked me to keep quiet about it until Tanaka or Noya - or anyone - asks me to come themselves."

Daichi squeezes his eyes closed and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Alright, I'm sorry I gotta go. Need to, uh- do some stuff."

"Don't be too harsh with them."

"Can't promise you that." Daichi admits.

The moment they say their good nights, Daichi opens up the group chat and interrupts yet another fruitless discussion.

' _Bunch of pussies_ ,' he writes, and the chat goes hauntingly quiet. Everyone just stops typing at once. ' _Suga said he'd love to go, only if SOMEONE asked him. Now call him and do that._ '

The chat remains frozen. Daichi frowns at his phone, trying to refresh it, but it remains the same. Damn technology. But then Hinata's name appears, three dots next to him. He's typing.

' _Daichi is scary._ '

* * *

The next morning, Daichi finds two unread messages. One is from Asahi, saying just ' _thank you,_ ' and the other one from Suga.

' _What did you do to them? I found Noya and Tanaka at my front door, begging forgiveness, practically kissing my feet._ '

Daichi feels a smug grin appear on his face. ' _I simply told them to go fix their mistakes._ ' He writes, punctuating the message with a winking smiley face for good measure.

' _Liar._ ' Suga types back.

The grin on Daichi's face grows wider, and promptly disappears from his face when he opens the group chat. Everyone has recovered from their shock, and moved back to the regular, Suga-included group chat, spamming apologies to the man every three seconds.

When Suga asks about what Daichi did, Hinata's prompt message stabs him right in the eye.

' _Because Daichi said pussy._ '

Leave it to Hinata - that boy never grows up.

* * *

They decided to go for the classy party. They booked rooms in a hotel, so everyone can drink and nobody has to drive home, and took up one entire section of said hotel to make sure no random people will butt in. It reminds Daichi of an actual wedding, rather than just a bachelor party. Nevertheless, everyone is happy and Tanaka and Noya are free to enjoy a dance on the table without having strangers misidentify them for strippers and start shoving bills into their pants.

They eat and drink and do stupid stuff, and even Daichi is persuaded into a beer-drinking match with Asahi. Ennoshita magically pulls a small square table out of his ass, sets two chairs down for them and while the waitress is busy drawing pints of beer, Daichi rolls up his sleeves, loosens his tie and glares the man down, trying to intimidate him. Asahi, however, is far beyond the point of susceptibility to glares after the bottle of questionable alcohol he's downed over the span of the evening. None of them is piss drunk, but they've drank enough to start doing dumb stuff. 

The team stands around them, cheering on and placing bets, but the only voice that rings in Daichi's head is Suga's, whose hands rest on Daichi's shoulders, squeezing his muscles as he tries to psyche him up for the match.

"I've got two thousand Yen on your head, don't disappoint me!" He says into his ear when the waitress places two pints of beer on the table.

Daichi looks Asahi in the eye, grabs the pint, and when Noya yells a shrill _'ready-set-go'_ they both throw the beers back, trying to down them faster than the other. Everyone loses their shit when Daichi's glass hits the table first. He throws his hands up in the air and stands up, finding out that the floor is a little bit more dynamic than it was thirty seconds ago. Thankfully Suga is there to steady him, even though he's gone the next second, collecting his winnings.

The next round is Ennoshita versus Suga, and to see Ennoshita's smug grin get wiped off his face when Suga beats him by a generous amount of time is one of the best things Daichi's seen in a long time. Everyone _'ooh's_ and points their fingers at the still stunned Ennoshita, while Suga pats his back, wraps his arms around him, and twitters a sweet "Don't mind!" into his ear. The man swats him away with a half-grin, half-pout, and makes place for the next match. And so it goes on, and on, and on, until they all have a go, and they systematically drink Tanaka literally under the table.

Well, he did want to have a party of his life, after all.

Daichi shakes his head when Ennoshita, Kinoshita and Narita start stripping him of his clothes, arguing whether it would be better to hide his clothes in his own room, or under the front desk. Then he feels someone come up to him from behind, wrap their cold fingers around his wrists and breathe in his ear.

"I need your car keys," Suga whispers, and when Daichi turns to look at him, he finds him grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"What for? Oh!" Oh, right. Suga brought something with him. Daichi grins back.

"You are ruthless." He says as they go get the twenty-meter roll of bubble wrap out of his trunk.

Everyone is ecstatic when they hold the roll up for them to see. They start wrapping him in it like a human burrito, but they are unfortunate to wake him up before the job is done. Tanaka yells on top of his lungs, struggling to wiggle out of it, while everyone just laughs and runs away to avoid his wrath. He starts chasing them in just his underwear and socks, which turns into an impromptu hide and seek game over the entire hotel that everyone just seems to go along with.

Daichi grabs Suga's hand as they run away into the hallway, crouching down so the hotel staff won't see them, sides hurting from so much suppressed laughter. They run up the fire stairwell when Tanaka catches them sneaking out of the toilettes, and go up to the third floor to hide in one of the alcoves that line the hallway.

They can barely catch their breaths between the bouts of laughter, but when they hear the door on the far end of the hall slam open and feet tap on the carpet, they slap their palms over each other's mouths to keep quiet.

They wait, straining their ears to hear, and staring into each other's eyes in dread as the taps grow louder, and just when Tanaka's shadow peeks around the corner, they hear the door slam again.

"Oh shit!" It's Kageyama. Then Hinata screeches, and the shadow disappears because Tanaka is already chasing after them. The door slams close again, muffling the echoed screams from the stairwell. Daichi and Suga are finally free to take a breath and release the laughter they were desperately holding in, letting it fade away into ripples of tired giggles.

Daichi breathes out and wipes the sweat off his forehead, finally noticing how very small the alcove is for two grown men. He also notices how close Suga is to him, and how he's practically holding the man against himself, chests pressed tightly together.

Suga notices that too, and the startling realization sends shivers down the entire length of Daichi's spine. They stare at each other, chests heaving and breaths mingling, as their lungs yearn for more air, but they are both afraid to move. Suga's eyes keep falling on Daichi's lips, and Daichi's hands tingle on the small of Suga's back as he gently presses the man against him. It makes Suga breathe out a shaky sigh that carries a shade of his voice, and then Daichi feels his long-fingered hands move on his chest, cooling his skin through the shirt as they make their way to his collar.

He feels totally disconnected from his body as he tangles his fingers in Suga's soft hair and feels his own lips brush against Suga's - but they don't  kiss. They just keep hovering close like that, feeling each other's breaths, but never closing the distance. There's a heat in Daichi's gut that's definitely not from the alcohol, but just can't bring himself to act on it. Neither of them can. The invisible barrier between them won't let them.  

Daichi hears a sob. He doesn't need to open his eyes to know what's happening. "I can't." Suga whispers, shaking his head. Daichi presses their foreheads together, blindly wiping Suga's tears with his thumb.

"I know." He really does - can't do it either. He feels Hirano's engagement ring dig deep into his chest as he hugs Suga close and lets him weep into his shoulder.

They retire to their rooms unable to look in each other's eyes, and Daichi doesn't get a wink of sleep that night.

Everyone wonders what happened the next morning when they sit apart at breakfast - the side glances are so obvious, even a blind man could see them - but nobody says a word. Asahi sends him a message under the table, just three simple question marks, and pointedly stares at him over the table, but Daichi just shakes his head and stuffs his mouth with rice.

* * *

They decide to pretend nothing happened - speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil; except evil is awkwardness in their case, and if awkwardness was palpable, theirs could be sliced and served with a side dish of bitter guilt - and they haven't even slept together yet.

They still call each other, but the pauses are longer, and the silence more profound, more... filled with things they could say but can't. They decide to take a break from meeting at the café and staying alone in one room - not because they can't face each other - well, they can't but that's not the point. It's mostly because things have become a little weird - there's no lingering glances, nervous stutters, or the things people do in their teen years when they are head over heels for someone. There's a barrier between them, and both of them know it's not the time to break it yet.

However, that doesn't mean Daichi can't sink into the depths of teenage _pining -_ that's one thing he realized after their _almost-kiss_ in the hotel, by the way. Nevertheless, they both need time and space, and but Daichi doesn't mind that Suga's focussing on hanging out with everyone else a little more often than before. Maybe it's the changing weather. Maybe it's not - but who is he to judge?

Hinata is Suga's best buddy throughout the following months, and Daichi is more than glad because hanging out with Hinata means hanging out and taking tons of pictures. It's a good coping mechanism - Hinata has good influence on people.

Daichi takes it back once he starts updating pictures of their morning jogs. He stares, and stares, and curses under his breath, hiding his face in his hands.

How could he? How could Oikawa do this? When Daichi heard the man has brought some of the expensive designer sportswear, he imagined tracksuits and shirts, not _compression pants._ Daichi glares at his phone, slowly shaking his head. Unbelievable. His eyes trace the length of Suga's body as he stretches, getting ready to run. Half of Hinata's sunny face is peeking from the corner as if he didn't have enough time to aim the camera right.

Daichi is still shaking his head - just how could he? How is he capable of such a thing? - He's not disapproving of the photos, though - oh, no, no. Daichi's disapproving of himself. 

He saves [that one particular picture](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C9zRQSHWAAE3KHf.jpg) where the profile of Suga's ass and thighs is accentuated in the best light possible, and sets it as the man's contact picture. ' _What a vile creature you are, Sawamura. Shame on you,'_ he thinks to himself and keeps staring at the chat in hope there might be more. He is not disappointed.

He immediately likes spring a lot more, despite his mild, but still annoying allergies.

* * *

Three weeks later, something unthinkable happens - Daichi meets Suga at work.

They meet in the hallway, stop dead in their tracks and stare at each other like deer in headlights. Suga's the first to break the spell and grace him with his typical, cheeky smile.

"Daichi!" Suga exclaims, hugging the stack of papers he's holding to his chest.

"Suga, what are you-" Daichi bites his tongue when he notices his boss coming from behind him. He looks between them both, eyebrows raised.

"You know each other?"

Suga's grin turns into a professional smile as he turns towards him and says, "Yes, we went to school together." Daichi opens his mouth to confirm that but his - _their? -_ boss seems to take Suga's answer as completely sufficient. He puts his hand on Suga's back and pushes him forward in a gentle urge to keep moving. Daichi closes his mouth with an audible click that makes Suga purse his lips. 

"Excellent!" The boss says, "You can show him around the building then! One second though, we need to discuss something. Excuse us." He says, punctuating that _us_ with a rising tone as if Daichi was there just to hold them back. Also, that gesture. That hand gesture as he pushed Suga - when has his boss even become so touchy-feely?

Daichi turns around and watches them leave. He glares at the hand that rests on Suga's back, but looks up to catch Suga looking back, mischievously poking out his tongue at him just before they disappear behind the corner. Daichi stands there, rooted to the ground until one of his co-workers who watched the entire exchange while sipping coffee, nudges him with the elbow, snapping him out of his daze. Daichi returns to his office, diving back to work. He doesn't even know how much time passes as he mechanically types away like a robot, but he's pretty sure it's not "a second" by the time Suga's long-fingered hands squeeze his shoulders.

"Will you give me that tour, boss?"  He says against Daichi's ear, making the hair on the back of his arms stand.

It's as if the invisible barrier was somehow broken. Or forgotten. It's like it was never there to begin with. They converse with ease, tease each other without any hold backs and share looks they avoided before. A perfect, smooth transition to something Daichi cannot even name. As if somebody snapped their fingers and they just decided it's not worth it anymore.  

"You were a little bit prickly back in the hallway." Suga comments, mouth pursed so he can hide the smile that's threatening to appear on his face. "Were you jealous when your Boss stole me away?"

Daichi frowns at the tips of his shoes, sticking hands into his pockets as they walk towards the roof. Why they are going there, Daichi doesn't even know. "Yeah, well, he never wanted to see me so eagerly."

"Maybe you're just not his type?" Suga offers, grinning at him

"Maybe."

"Don't worry. I won't be his secretary. He found my ad on the internet or something. Said he needs a person proficient with languages for special purposes."

"Special purposes." Daichi repeats with a whistle, feeling a grin on his own face. "Woah, will he call you late at night? I wouldn't answer those calls if I were you."

Suga laughs. "I answered yours though. Don't be worried, I will make sure he never knows I did your speech."

"Hey! I did it! Kind of." Suga's eyebrows raise up. "You just translated it."

"My lips will be sealed." He says, making the zipping-up motion with his hand. However, while Daichi rejoices that he's going to see Suga more often now that they actually have something in common, he quickly comes to realize the reality is so very different. Suga becomes some kind of a presence that everyone else uses to tell what will be taking place in the near future. Was Suga spotted in the building? Yes? Then there will be a meeting soon, or possibly a conference. Easy as that. Daichi therefore really sees him only on special occasions when there is some event where their boss can flaunt Suga's skills, professional attitude and exquisite sense of fashion around as if they were his own - but really, who wouldn't? Suga is just a joy to be around on these occasions, where one's required to hold a flute of champagne in his hand for the entire evening and pretend to be interested in boring business talk. Daichi guesses it's a thing he got from his mother - and the thought immediately sours the rest of his day. 

At the end of the conferences, or meetings, or whatevers, after Sugas translating and interpreting work is done, he always finds his way to Daichi and they spend the rest of the evening shit talking their boss's atrocious tie and incredible acting skills behind their hands, trying to keep the laughter to minimum volume like small children.

Everything is great. Daichi gets over his initial pining and over-analyzing-every-sentence-said period, Suga looks relatively alright most of the time, with small exceptions during his recurring depression and sleep-deprivation cycles which are completely in the norm and managed with a little help of home-made food and cookies - courtesy of Kageyama, who surprised everyone (except Hinata) with the unexpected hobby. Suga even drags Daichi out for a morning jog one particularly hot morning, and Daichi is pleasantly surprised to realize that evening that he managed to look the man in the eye more often than at his ass. 

What do they say about good things, though? That they all come to an end? Daichi is well aware of that. He just didn't expect it to happen so soon.

* * *

The company anniversary at the beginning of April is a welcomed distraction for all of them. Their boss throws a big party with buffet and open bar, and they all get a day off the following day - a blessing and a curse in one.

Suga is there, too, at first playing the boss' ace in the sleeve in front of the big shots, but he quickly finds his way to Daichi once he feels he's not needed anymore. There are some annoying flies that he has to keep swatting away - especially one elderly lady in particular, but Suga manages that with a practiced ease and politeness Daichi would only hardly be capable of. At first, everyone plays the game of the employee of the month to impress their esteemed guests and partners, but once they clear out - oh, boy!

Daichi makes sure Suga is well acquainted with the core staff, explaining how exactly do they know each other and so dismissing all the gossip that's been bouncing off the walls of the building ever since Suga was hired, and once everyone finds out that Suga is not their boss' pet or a telltale, they welcome him with open arms, and start pouring drinks as if it's their last day on Earth.

Daichi remembers holding a glass to his lips while watching his colleagues draping their arms around Suga's shoulders, each of them demanding he drinks with them. Then he remembers dancing to some trashy pop-song that's been played on the radio too many times to be considered good, and Suga dragging him out on the street by his tie, curling his index finger at him with a huge, drunk smile on his face. Then he remembers cold fingers sliding from his chest, over his shoulders and down his back, and seeing his shirt fall on the floor.

Daichi wakes up with a headache so punishing, he literally has to check if his head is still intact. He gently palms his skull, dry-swallowing a few times to get the sensation of sand on his tongue away. It takes him a second to realize he's in his own flat, despite his eyes taking a while to focus at the familiar bumps of his ceiling. Oh my, what a night! He lets his arms fall down along his body, startling when his hand collides with a huge lump.

Suga. Curled on his side and facing away from him, is Suga. Daichi would recognize that mop of platinum hair in any state. He sits up in alarm, his eyes frozen on the man's naked shoulder. Suddenly, Daichi realizes his own nakedness -he can't tell if he's completely naked, though, and he's too afraid to look under the covers.

He does a quick sweep over the room with his eyes, looking for any clues. Their clothes are lying at the foot of the bed in two messy, but separate piles, but there are no discarded condom wrappers lying around. Now, that might be a very good or a very, _very_ bad thing.

"We almost fucked up."

Daichi startles once again. He whips his head around to catch Suga wiggling around to lie on his other side, blinking the morning grogginess away. Something about that view makes Daichi relax. He lets himself fall back on the pillow, and then mirrors Suga, letting out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"Yeah," he whispers back, trying to angle his head down so that he doesn't have to poison Suga with his morning, after-alcohol breath. He wants to ask about last night, but his voice is frozen in his throat, and he's left opening his empty mouth like a fish.

"Nothing happened." Suga says with a tired, but positive smile. Can he read his mind? "Can't you tell?"

Daichi thinks about that for a second. Then moves his leg and groans through his clenched teeth. Oh, he can tell, alright. He's having the worst case of blue balls ever. Suga actually has the audacity to laugh at him, even if it is underlined with his own suffering.

"This might be the first time ever," Daichi starts, feeling his grimace slowly turn into a smile. "But I am actually glad to wake up like this."

They stay like that. For some mysterious reason, neither of them feels the need to move away from the bed. They just lie there, facing each other, drifting in and out of sleep until the headache finally subdues to a bearable level. However, not even the afternoon sun peeking through the shutters is enough to make them move. Weird, but not as weird as the pillow talk that follows.

Daichi is not surprised when the topic of Yui comes up - after all, Suga was bound to ask why she was there to see him off to Europe, but not when he came back. Daichi's sour face must have been the reason why he didn't ask that evening.

Maybe it's the absurdity of the situation, or the hangover, but Daichi doesn't feel almost anything when he answers him. He tells him everything - how he realized too late that he was working too much, how they struggled to keep their relationship afloat, but ended up making things worse, how they barely interacted during the day, and how Daichi found Yui waiting for him late at night, things packed and ready to leave. They just weren't really compatible as long time partners, but they realized that way too late. Daichi never really told anyone about it - not like this. Asahi knew about their fights, because everyone needs a friend on the phone to complain to, but also because Asahi can pick up negative vibrations from a nuclear bunker, and it's difficult to hide something like that from him.

Daichi felt nothing as he told Suga about all of this, but he knew he could breathe a little easier after he did. Then it's his turn, and he doesn't even have to think about what to ask.

* * *

It is a weird late morning. They eat in silence, both of them just taking whatever their eyes fall on when they opened the fridge, too lazy to cook a warm meal. They watch the TV together, surfing through the channels because it was too late for morning news and too soon for anything else than ridiculous soap operas and teleshopping, keeping the volume to minimum to spare their aching heads. Daichi sneaks glances at Suga's profile as he absent-mindedly rolls the bread center into a small ball before eating it. He catches him looking at the door a few times, but it's the weekend, and Suga has nothing because of which he would have to hurry home. He catches Daichi staring, but he doesn't react in any particular way. When they near the fifteen seconds staring limit they finally look away, hiding their embarrassed smiles.

Suga leaves around two in the afternoon, and Daichi pinches himself to make sure it was not a dream.

* * *

From that day on, Daichi lives in a comforting blur of days. It's neither good or bad, nothing dramatic or remarkable happens, and whenever they hang out, it feels more like it's a dull routine, rather than something special - the _'dull'_ , in this case, referring to _'natural_ ' rather than _'boring'_. Bliss, in short.

And of course, the rollercoaster of life brings him from the top to a very new, and unexplored bottom. During the autumn conference, Daichi gets to drink from the glass of jealousy.

It starts out as usual - sitting through boring presentations, pretending to take notes, then pretending to show interest in everyone's opinions and suggestions, and then the long awaited formal party. Except this time, Suga doesn't find his way to Daichi's side that quickly, and when he does, it's in the company of some over-excited foreigner who finds way too many excuses to touch him. Never mind the fact that their boss has made Suga the guy's designated dictionary - the only Japanese he knows is 'sake' - and Daichi is supposed to make him feel _'at home'_  because _potential investors._ The only thing Daichi wants to make him feel is the glass as he shoves it down his throat every time his manicured hand somehow makes it onto Suga's shoulder.

Daichi is a very good actor when he wants to be, but even he has his limits.

He drives Suga home that evening, and despite Suga's attempts to make up his mood, the conversation quickly dies away when it becomes apparent that Daichi is less than willing to participate. It's not that he doesn't want to talk - it's just too much stuff going through his head. Daichi doesn't even realize it, but when he feels Suga's hand gently squeeze his own, he finds out he's clutching the steering wheel so hard, the leather covers are literally moaning. Suga says nothing when Daichi glances at him with an apologetic look, but the worried furrow of his brow is enough to make him feel guilty.

He parks in front of Suga's apartment, kills the engine, and stares at the wheel, biting the inside of his cheek. He can feel Suga's eyes on the side of his face. _That_ is an awkward silence. From the corner of his eye, Daichi can see Suga open his mouth, trying to say something, but he always ends up closing it and bowing his head.

"Daichi, are you--" a sigh. "Thanks for the ride." He doesn't sound insulted or annoyed. He's sad, and that's the last thing Daichi wants him to be. Just as Suga's about to climb out of the car, Daichi calls his name. The man stops and looks back at him, his hand falling from the handle. Daichi is still staring at the wheel, nervously tapping his finger but when he hears Suga take in a breath, that's all he needs. 

_'Fuck it.'_ Daichi thinks, throwing all his caution out the window. If he has to be brushed off, let it be now.  

"I'm sorry," he says, puts his hand on the back of Suga's neck, and in one fluid motion leans over and kisses him.

Suga is frozen, holding absolutely still while Daichi presses their lips together, and it drags on for so long, Daichi mentally steels himself for a punch or a slap, but nothing happens. He's about to draw back, resigned to hear a strangled _'I'm sorry'_ , but then he finally feels Suga open his mouth, and lick his lips. Daichi's response is instant, and soon enough, they are both running out of breath. Then suddenly, Suga's straddling him, his cold hands cooling Daichi's heated cheeks as he keeps kissing, making small, breathy noises every time Daichi's tongue brushes against his.

Daichi doesn't think - how could he even? When Suga is literally devouring his face, while his body rocks against him. It doesn't matter that they're in a car and totally on display. It's three in the morning, what does he care? Daichi groans, his whole body on fire and hands aching to touch every inch of Suga's body. He lets them roam, and touch, and squeeze his deliciously fit ass, hungrily biting the skin of Suga's neck. Suga moans and murmurs his name, tugging at his hair a little tighter, driving Daichi crazy with want. He can't help but to hold him a little tighter, grinding his hips harder and more urgently while he ignores his conscience's screaming at him. He cannot listen to reason when he has Suga in his lap, and tugging at his hair.

And isn't that just the best feeling ever? The contrast of his heated skin and Suga's cold fingers raking his scalp is maddening, and Daichi can't hold himself back when he feels those fingers close into a fist. His hand moves on his own accord, slapping Suga's ass with a loud smack, making him throw his head back with a delicious _whine._

And then everything stops and Suga's body grows startlingly rigid.

Daichi stares, mouth gaping in a mid-breath. His mind takes a second to catch up, but when it finally does, he feels his eyebrows disappear into his hairline.

Suga looks right back at him with horror written all over his face.

"Did you just...?" Daichi cuts himself off. Suga looks like he might cry. He covers his mouth with his hand, shaking his head.

"I'm so sorry!" He gasps, voice barely audible.

"I--" Daichi is speechless. "I-I think I'm flattered?"

"I'm sorry, Daichi! I haven't - for some time... I--" Suga stutters, hiding his scarlet red face in his hands.

"For how long?"

Suga hesitates. "Since... since Yuki."

"Oh my God!" Daichi croaks in empathy. "Not even-- you know." He makes a gesture with his hand. Suga shakes his head, screwing his eyes close. Daichi reaches out to take his hands off his mouth, and kisses him again, successfully distracting Suga from the embarrassment.

"Come up for coffee," Suga breathes. Daichi manages a simple nod before they scramble out of the car.

Of course they don't even see the kitchen that night. The moment the door closes behind them, they are on each other, hastily shedding clothes, leaving them behind in a trail leading to Suga's bedroom, where they continue what they didn't finish in the car.

It's messy - all greedy hands and mouths, and a lot of collisions and moaning, but when it finally comes to it, Daichi hesitates, his body uncertainly hovering above Suga's.

"I've never done it with a man." He admits between Suga's hungry kisses.

"Then lie back," Suga whispers, turning them around so he can straddle him again."I'll show you what to do." Daichi falls back against the pillows, his hands squeezing Suga's thighs to keep themselves occupied while Suga rummages through the drawer.

He shows him - once, and then twice, and the third time, when the early rays of sun peek through the curtains, drawing patterns on Suga's sweat covered body, Daichi doesn't need help anymore. He flips them over so he's on the top, imprisons Suga with his own body and then makes love to him so slowly and intimately, Suga weeps as he holds onto him, his nails leaving marks on Daichi's back.

* * *

That morning is just a little bit different from the one they experienced together back when they got drunk. There is no dread, no awkwardness, no deep pillow talk. They wake up and stare at each other, smiling like fools while the silence speaks for them. Suga lays his hands on Daichi's cheek, caressing him as if he would disappear any moment, and when the sun climbs high enough to make Suga's hair shine like a halo, Daichi closes the distance between them to pepper him with kisses.

* * *

They don't start living the domestic dream of a labelled couple. They are not anything. Not right away, that is.

They take their time - no labels, no dramatic love confessions shouted at balconies, no moving in and feeding each other strawberries. They just start seeing each other a little bit more often. The gap on the couch gets smaller, the touches become more frequent, and there is more sex when the frustration at the workplace reaches the limit. Sometimes they have breakfast together. Sometimes they go shopping together.

 Sometimes Daichi wonders if Suga seeing him off to work in the morning is a good thing. He will never become used to seeing him wake up early, and it doesn't matter that he's never lived with him before. To Daichi, the habit will always represent a reminder of the past.

* * *

It's late night and he's stuck at work, shuffling through papers while denying the headache that's throbbing behind his eyes. Daichi bites the end of the pencil, trying to push back the sense of dread. Yui comes to his mind, as she does every time he stays at work late, and makes him wonder if he'll find Suga at his place - they've traded keys long ago. He possibly won't. After all, why would he? It's not like he doesn't have better things to do than just wait for Daichi's late ass to drag itself home so late at night. And talking about late night, it's well past the time for him to be doing work like this. Daichi's been sitting hunched over the papers going absolutely nowhere for the last two hours. He glances at the clock again - he should probably just head home. He should probably have done that two hours ago when the chances to find Suga there were better.

Yui keeps popping up in the eye of his mind until he parks in front of his apartment building, her voice echoing in his ears, asking him whether he really expect anyone waiting for him, but when he opens the door, the view that greets him feels like a dream.

There's Suga, sitting at the circular kitchen table, wrapped in a fuzzy, plain blanket, hunched over a stack of papers and scribbling away. He looks up in question, mutely asking Daichi why he's still standing in the hallway like an idiot instead of coming in and properly greeting him.

"Hello," Suga says with a tired smile, tugging the blanket up to cover his bare shoulder.

That view means the world to Daichi.

He sighs a greeting back and moves to the kitchen. He loosens his tie and bends over to press a kiss to the corner of Suga's mouth. Suga leans in and almost purrs like a cat as he stretches his back and puts the pen down, leaning his elbow on the table.

There is no shouting, no silent treatment, or avoiding eye contact. Everything is perfectly in order.  Daichi takes a quick shower, raids the fridge for a small evening bite while Suga tidies up the table and then they both retire to bed. They're too tired to do anything else but cuddle and drift asleep.

The next morning, Daichi recalls that weird pillow talk, back when they knew even less about what they are to each other. That morning, Suga asked about Yui, and in return, Daichi asked him about Hirano _._  

Suga told him how they got together and what he was to him. Suga also told him why he really left Japan - not because he wanted a change of scenery, or just a long exotic holiday. He left because he came out to his parents and how painful it was to bear their disappointment in him. He didn't tell anyone - why would he, when his parents drowned him with guilt and threatened him with a psychiatrist? If they had such a violent reaction, just what could his friends do to him? It was better to keep quiet, and to try to maybe change himself. So he chose to leave everyone behind, and go to Europe, trying to convince himself that it is to _cure_ himself. He's going to love women - and what better place than France? His father never had a problem to provide enough money and his mother couldn't care less as long as he doesn't soil her image in the neighborhood.

He first met Hirano at the airport when his luggage got lost - just as he said - but they really _met_ met in a café where he happened to work. Suga visited that place every morning, because coffee became a morning must and the home-made croissants were a heavenly start of every day. Hirano was a waiter there, and he wasn't exactly low-key about flirting. His wide, happy grin and terrible jokes always made Suga hide his blush and smile behind the newspaper. It was the extra croissant that really won Suga over, though. Hirano has packed it in a napkin which also contained his phone number and gave it to him just as he was about to walk out.

Suga thought long and hard about accepting, and he messaged him that same evening to make sure he was really serious about it. They went on a coffee date the next day, and then the day after, and then also met in the park in the evening because Suga was a sucker for terrible puns and wide smiles. He was such a huge sucker that he made it into the man's bed by the end of the week. The morning after didn't bring a comforting pillow talk. Suga had a mental breakdown because the voices of his accusing parents screamed at him, drowning him in guilt and doubt, but it didn't push Hirano away - quite the opposite. He held him in his arms that morning, listening to him spill out the weight that plagued his mind, and then wiped his tears with that huge grin, saying _'Fuck them both!'_   because Suga isn't sick or damaged.

Suga said Hirano was his pillar, a happy place to return to, and their initial one-night stand grew into all-night stand, because Suga just couldn't help but to be drawn to his warm and bright personality. They moved in together. Hirano had a rented room above the café he worked at, and Suga didn't hesitate to say yes when he asked him - even if it was to relieve the urgency of high rent at first. They clicked almost immediately - Hirano loved to do things, different things. He never stayed in one place too long, never did one job longer than a couple of months. Not because he couldn't keep them, no. He couldn't stand the routine. When he felt like he's done one thing for too long, he moved on, trying out different waters to see how long he could soak in them. Suga stayed at home, picking up translation related jobs to keep the money coming, while Hirano flew from one place to another, helping out and doing odd jobs, and slowly becoming the hit of the area where he knew everyone and everyone knew him. Bakery, delivery, repair job, selling, advertising, drawing - you name it. He didn't shy away from hard manual work either, no matter how punishing it was. He would always come back home to their little nest, tired but with a satisfied smile on his face that grew even wider when Suga was there to greet him.

After a year they moved to a new place, a little bit further so that both of them could broaden their horizons. Suga always stayed at home, and Hirano always flew from one place to another. The cycle went on and on for two years, and then Hirano just threw everything out the window and surprised Suga with an engagement ring. He said he didn't want to get married - not yet  - but the thought of seeing something symbolic as a ring on Suga's finger - even it it has been just a promise of faithfulness - and being able to yell to all world how amazing his fiancé is, was a thought that made him want to weep with happiness. Hirano wasn't afraid to hold him around his shoulders during their evening walks. He wasn't afraid to make it clear that neither of them were available. He was respectable and proper in the public, but there was no hesitation to confirm what they were if the issue came up.

They lived together, and moved together when Hirano felt too restless, and supported each other when they faced difficult times - especially while Suga gathered to confidence to return to Japan and face his parents again. That took him five years.

And then it only took one unfortunate night to take Hirano away from him.

* * *

Daichi is not Hirano - and he never will be. He doesn't move every half year in search for a new job. He isn't known in the entire neighborhood. He doesn't get engaged to Suga after two years of being with him - he could never ask him to take off the ring from the chain around his neck. 

But he does love him, and he does convince him to move in with him. Daichi doesn't shout his love to Suga to the world on top of his lungs, but he is always there when he needs him, and Suga is always there when he comes home late from work, his eyes twinkling in the dim light as he looks up and welcomes him with a kiss.

* * *

On the third after-five-years meet up of the original Karasuno team, Daichi is running late again. Not because of work, but because he and Suga both _slept in_. They meet the team holding hands, but nobody looks surprised or says a word. It's at the same restaurant than before, but this time, even Yachi, Kinoshita and Narita are lucky to be there, providing more time with their stories for Daichi to play with Suga's hand under the table.

He's shit at keeping the PDA on low, but he doesn't care that Noya and Tanaka are making faces at him because _'it's as if you're joined at the hip, you two! Gross!'_   As if they are better - Kanoka is already expecting and Tanaka absolutely refuses to move from her side. Noya is a tick by nature, but Asahi is long since accustomed to that.

Daichi keeps playing with Suga's ring finger, tracing the faint tan line of the ring that joined the other one hanging from the chain around his neck. He doesn't have one to take its place, but he keeps thinking about it.

Maybe one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading!! ^^


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